O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

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OWETB
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby OWETB » Thu Aug 15, 2019 7:48 am

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OWETB
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby OWETB » Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:22 am

Tell her not to worry, they're not needed...


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the flying pig
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby the flying pig » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:02 am

OWETB wrote:Tell her not to worry, they're not needed...



Yep, just go and work for your dad's company like Jezza did.

If it helps, I got four A's, which meant something in 1994, when Oxbridge/medicine etc entry requirements were typically about ABB, and have achieved almost nothing of any note since :thumbl:

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the flying pig
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby the flying pig » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:08 am

Devi wrote:Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

A level results not as expected, uni place missed, one distraught daughter.

Fuck.


Sorry to hear that. I suppose the plan is:

If it's possible to get on a very similar/nearly as appealing course, do that;

Otherwise, in the case of a borderline fail (one or at most two grades), go for the resit option.

Failing the above, need a rethink.

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eric olthwaite
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby eric olthwaite » Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:25 pm

Junior completely fucked his up. He decided he was set to fail around the turn of the year and kind of gave up. He's still OK to do the one year course he wants to do next year, just hope it's a bit of a wake up call about his approach to shit; he's perfectly capable, just couldn't be bothered to make the effort.

London_White
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby London_White » Thu Aug 15, 2019 2:01 pm

OWETB wrote:Tell her not to worry, they're not needed...


A C a U and an NT I think


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eric olthwaite
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby eric olthwaite » Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:45 am

Mr Reality wrote:https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-49319760

FYI


Downloaded this yesterday after seeing it somewhere else and the words for the location of my sofa suggest I might well be sat there masturbating. Seems ideal.

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Devi
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby Devi » Mon Sep 02, 2019 10:14 am

The thing they don’t tell you about living with teenage boys is the number of loo seats that need replacing, hinges rusted to fuck through poor aim

:shake1:
I like it. What is it?

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Phil LUFC
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby Phil LUFC » Mon Sep 02, 2019 12:40 pm

Devi wrote:The thing they don’t tell you about living with teenage boys is the number of loo seats that need replacing, hinges rusted to fuck through poor aim

:shake1:

:mrgreen: I had to address this with my 11yr old this weekend, it didn't work, he just shrugged, stated it's a boy thing and wandered off.

I have no doubt he'll continue to approach it as if he were playing basketball when netball would be more appropriate - added distance worth more and really not bothered which surface it goes in off.

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the flying pig
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby the flying pig » Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:29 am

maybe one for the wives or AIBAC thread.

there's a boy in my daughter [6]'s class who i assume is autistic or whatever, his behaviour is just very 'wrong' in a few ways, quite often disruptively so. there've always been staffing issues created by the fact that he needs a constant eye keeping on him, & recently a fair bit of little bits of violence, usually involving girls, him dishing out the odd slap & whatnot. my daughter apparently got scratched on her wrist the other day, no real damage done [literally a couple of layers of skin gone, nothing at all, i saw worse every day in my own playground 30-odd years ago] & earlier in the summer i he apparently destroyed an expensive keyring that i'd been begging her not to take to school. a couple of other girls had slightly worse things happen to them.

there's next to nothing by way of special provisions made for the boy at school [e.g. 1:1 teaching assistants], perhaps [or maybe not] because one or both of the following may be true depending on which particular brand of school-gate gossip you choose to believe: (1) his parents are in denial about his condition & won't 'sign him up'; (2) the school are turning a blind eye because of the budgetary implications of hiring more TAs.

a few mums [always the mums] are agitating for some kind of action, there's apparently been a complaining letter of some kind that's been drafted by one mother [whose daughter is apparently the most frequent victim of violence but who won't put her head above the parapet] & is looking for signatories.

my wife, who in one of her occasional [e.g. roughly biannial, maybe less frequent since having kids] moments of self awareness would be the first to admit that she's a dreadful drama queen who doesn't perhaos herself have the cleanest of slates on the MH front], had nothing to do with the letter being drafted & wasn't ever planning to make a complaint but as the saga rumbles on i get the strong sense that she's going to get dragged into it & could easily become the poster girl for it, just because that's what she's like.

would it be worth me investing political/marital capital in giving her a really stern lecture to stay the whatever out of this?

Professor Weeto
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby Professor Weeto » Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:40 am

Yeeesh. If the reason the kid has no extra provision is (1) then here is absolutely no way this can end well. The parents might eventually come around, they might not, but I suspect a letter/petition/whatever will only make things worse. If it's (2) then I suppose the cabal might have some kind of point.

There's a similar kid in my son's class (he's also 6), but I'm pretty sure he does get the extra help he needs and so any disruption is mininal. It's a crying shame that the stigmas around this stuff are still so entrenched amongst certain people.

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dirty leeds
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:43 am

the flying pig wrote:maybe one for the wives or AIBAC thread.

there's a boy in my daughter [6]'s class who i assume is autistic or whatever, his behaviour is just very 'wrong' in a few ways, quite often disruptively so. there've always been staffing issues created by the fact that he needs a constant eye keeping on him, & recently a fair bit of little bits of violence, usually involving girls, him dishing out the odd slap & whatnot. my daughter apparently got scratched on her wrist the other day, no real damage done [literally a couple of layers of skin gone, nothing at all, i saw worse every day in my own playground 30-odd years ago] & earlier in the summer i he apparently destroyed an expensive keyring that i'd been begging her not to take to school. a couple of other girls had slightly worse things happen to them.

there's next to nothing by way of special provisions made for the boy at school [e.g. 1:1 teaching assistants] because one or both of the following may be true depending on which particular brand of school-gate gossip you choose to believe: (1) his parents are in denial about his condition & won't 'sign him up'; (2) the school are turning a blind eye because of the budgetary implications of hiring more TAs.

a few mums [always the mums] are agitating for some kind of action, there's apparently been a complaining letter of some kind that's been drafted by one mother [whose daughter is apparently the most frequent victim of violence but who won't put her head above the parapet] & is looking for signatories.

my wife, who in one of her occasional [e.g. roughly biannial, maybe less frequent since having kids] moments of self awareness would be the first to admit that she's a dreadful drama queen who doesn't perhaos herself have the cleanest of slates on the MH front], had nothing to do with the letter been drafted & wasn't ever planning to make a complaint but as the saga rumbles on i get the strong sense that she's going to get dragged into it & could easily become the poster girl for it.

would it be worth me investing political/marital capital in giving her a really stern lecture to stay the whatever out of this?


If he is on the spectrum and both points one and two highlighted above are true then the poor lad's parents are at fault here. I'm sure they love their kid an' all, but if they would get together with the school and together put their boot up the arse of the local education authority they would either get their funding at the current school or different provision would be found for the kid, perhaps to go somewhere more suitable to his needs. At the moment the kid is clearly not coping and needs help. His parents really need to 'get over it' [if what you say about them is true, I mean] and help their child.
Easy to say from the outside, I know, but ultimately it's true. [As you know, I've been there.] How you get from A to B here isn't easy, though.
Essentially, someone - a friend - needs to say this to the parents. It doesn't need a campaign, just some poor fucker to bite the bullet. Should this be your wife? I have no idea.

Edit to add: in my experience it's been the mum who has found it more difficult to admit their child has a problem and needs a diagnosis/help etc. So maybe the dad is the one to approach? Like I say, only my experience, but it was the situation in the three close-to-home cases I know about. In my own case, Mrs DL is a fucking tiger these days when it comes to backing up my lad. Which is funny, 'cause I was only playing 'bad cop' this week at the current school, for a change. If only they knew.

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eric olthwaite
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby eric olthwaite » Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:50 am

the flying pig wrote:(1) his parents are in denial about his condition & won't 'sign him up'; (2) the school are turning a blind eye because of the budgetary implications of hiring more TAs.


Correct me if I'm wrong, and maybe someone like DL would know better, but 2) is effectively a function of 1), no? ie unless there's a statement then the school can't fund the TA? Stupid of the parents if they don't recognise that a failure to act now will make things a million times worse later on.

Anyway, I wouldn't know what to do in this situation. Would probably canvas a friendly governor (off the record) to see what they suggest, if you know of one.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:51 am

eric olthwaite wrote:
the flying pig wrote:(1) his parents are in denial about his condition & won't 'sign him up'; (2) the school are turning a blind eye because of the budgetary implications of hiring more TAs.


Correct me if I'm wrong, and maybe someone like DL would know better, but 2) is effectively a function of 1), no? ie unless there's a statement then the school can't fund the TA? Stupid of the parents if they don't recognise that a failure to act now will make things a million times worse later on.

Anyway, I wouldn't know what to do in this situation. Would probably canvas a friendly governor (off the record) to see what they suggest, if you know of one.


Correct. Diagnosis, EHCP [former Statement], Funding... in that order. But it has to start with the parents admitting it to themselves and so helping their child.

Professor Weeto
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:49 pm

Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby Professor Weeto » Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:58 am

It's really difficult, even if you're close friends with the parent(s). A friend of ours, closer to my wife but a friend to us both, has a kid who quite obviously has special needs - I'm hesitant to say he is on the autistic spectrum but I think most laymen would say it's very obvious that he is - and she was in denial about it until very recently.

My wife wanted to say something but we both suspected that the main person pushing the idea that their son was "fine" (their words, not mine) was her idiot husband, who is just a total bellend. The last time my wife criticised him they had a massive falling out and didn't speak for months, so (understandably) my wife didn't want to risk souring their relations.

Anyway, they seem to have come round now, thank fuck, just in time for the lad to start his first year at school. I'm not sure what the point of all this was but it's a really, really difficult situation, and I don't envy the kid having to grow up with that prick as a father.

Professor Weeto
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:49 pm

Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby Professor Weeto » Fri Sep 13, 2019 11:02 am

On the other hand, my brother was not diagnosed with Asperger's until he was in his twenties and I think it has, in many ways, ruined his life. Obviously awareness of this stuff was far less high then and I don't think it was something my parents even considered. I really hope the kid in your daughter's class gets the help he needs, TFP.

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the flying pig
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby the flying pig » Fri Sep 13, 2019 12:26 pm

hmm, thanks v much for that, chaps, def food for thought.

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MightyWhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:38 am
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby MightyWhite » Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:08 pm

Bloody hard this whole autism thing. We’ve had suspicions about our eldest (7) for a few years now due to his quirks and the way he interacts with other people, to the point we were having meetings with the school and local services, verging on biting the bullet and seeking a diagnosis. We pulled back in the end and, over the last few months, he seems to have evened out somewhat. His behaviour is fine and his school performance is spot on, the main struggles are limited to his absolute refusal to go in to any public toilet (awkward on day trips) and a slightly obsessive/narrow focus (seems to only be able dedicate himself to one friend at a time, and will only listen to the music of Lady Gaga!). All in all, I’m pretty content at the moment that we didn’t slap a label on him.
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Ponte
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Re: O/T The Official Squareball Parenting Thread

Postby Ponte » Fri Sep 13, 2019 2:59 pm

MightyWhite wrote:Bloody hard this whole autism thing. We’ve had suspicions about our eldest (7) for a few years now due to his quirks and the way he interacts with other people, to the point we were having meetings with the school and local services, verging on biting the bullet and seeking a diagnosis. We pulled back in the end and, over the last few months, he seems to have evened out somewhat. His behaviour is fine and his school performance is spot on, the main struggles are limited to his absolute refusal to go in to any public toilet (awkward on day trips) and a slightly obsessive/narrow focus (seems to only be able dedicate himself to one friend at a time, and will only listen to the music of Lady Gaga!). All in all, I’m pretty content at the moment that we didn’t slap a label on him.

Hmmm, Something amiss.
Lady Gaga?
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Hmmm.


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