the flying pig wrote:maybe one for the wives or AIBAC thread.
there's a boy in my daughter 's class who i assume is autistic or whatever, his behaviour is just very 'wrong' in a few ways, quite often disruptively so. there've always been staffing issues created by the fact that he needs a constant eye keeping on him, & recently a fair bit of little bits of violence, usually involving girls, him dishing out the odd slap & whatnot. my daughter apparently got scratched on her wrist the other day, no real damage done [literally a couple of layers of skin gone, nothing at all, i saw worse every day in my own playground 30-odd years ago] & earlier in the summer i he apparently destroyed an expensive keyring that i'd been begging her not to take to school. a couple of other girls had slightly worse things happen to them.
there's next to nothing by way of special provisions made for the boy at school [e.g. 1:1 teaching assistants] because one or both of the following may be true depending on which particular brand of school-gate gossip you choose to believe: (1) his parents are in denial about his condition & won't 'sign him up'; (2) the school are turning a blind eye because of the budgetary implications of hiring more TAs.
a few mums [always the mums] are agitating for some kind of action, there's apparently been a complaining letter of some kind that's been drafted by one mother [whose daughter is apparently the most frequent victim of violence but who won't put her head above the parapet] & is looking for signatories.
my wife, who in one of her occasional [e.g. roughly biannial, maybe less frequent since having kids] moments of self awareness would be the first to admit that she's a dreadful drama queen who doesn't perhaos herself have the cleanest of slates on the MH front], had nothing to do with the letter been drafted & wasn't ever planning to make a complaint but as the saga rumbles on i get the strong sense that she's going to get dragged into it & could easily become the poster girl for it.
would it be worth me investing political/marital capital in giving her a really stern lecture to stay the whatever out of this?
If he is on the spectrum and both points one and two highlighted above are true then the poor lad's parents are at fault here. I'm sure they love their kid an' all, but if they would get together with the school and together put their boot up the arse of the local education authority they would either get their funding at the current school or different provision would be found for the kid, perhaps to go somewhere more suitable to his needs. At the moment the kid is clearly not coping and needs help. His parents really need to 'get over it' [if what you say about them is true, I mean] and help their child.
Easy to say from the outside, I know, but ultimately it's true. [As you know, I've been there.] How you get from A to B here isn't easy, though.
Essentially, someone - a friend - needs to say this to the parents. It doesn't need a campaign, just some poor fucker to bite the bullet. Should this be your wife? I have no idea.
Edit to add: in my experience it's been the mum who has found it more difficult to admit their child has a problem and needs a diagnosis/help etc. So maybe the dad is the one to approach? Like I say, only my experience, but it was the situation in the three close-to-home cases I know about. In my own case, Mrs DL is a fucking tiger these days when it comes to backing up my lad. Which is funny, 'cause I was only playing 'bad cop' this week at the current school, for a change. If only they knew.