Entirely SFW Random Link Thread

[Eddies Boots]

For comparison, the Australian Citizenship Test

Huge controversy when they removed the question on Don Bradman’s test average, but I still think you’ll find it easier than the UK one.

19 out of 20

I passed the test

But can you swim hundreds of miles across the pacific ocean having escaped the internment camp?

[Vampire]

For comparison, the Australian Citizenship Test

Huge controversy when they removed the question on Don Bradman’s test average, but I still think you’ll find it easier than the UK one.

19 out of 20

I passed the test

Well done, Rhys.

You beat BobbyD’s score there. He’s well settled now and enjoying the life. He’ll be really stoked when he hears you’ll soon be joining him for some barbies.

You’ll need an employer to sponsor you though, so I’ve made some inquiries for you at the Australian Reptile Park. They’re always on the look out for new volunteers to collect funnel webs for them.

Most of their volunteers don’t last too long for some reason - but I’m sure you’ll do fine - especially if you follow the tips in their training video (including the first aid at the end):

[welshwhite]

Hey, Brett. Is there something wrong with that mans speech, he's ending his sentences rather sharply and louder than the rest of it. And what the fuck is a "spydor"?

I'm loving the fact they called one of the spydors, Dwayne. Ripper!
If I ever catch one I'll call it Rhys

Stay safe, Brett. And if one of those fuckers ever nips you, then you know we're all here for you

I'm spending most of March in Thailand, B. You should make the short journey and join me for a few bottles of cold Leo. The Leeds Utd bar streams all the live games

[Vampire]

Hey, Brett. Is there something wrong with that mans speech, he's ending his sentences rather sharply and louder than the rest of it. And what the fuck is a "spydor"?

I'm loving the fact they called one of the spydors, Dwayne. Ripper!
If I ever catch one I'll call it Rhys

Stay safe, Brett. And if one of those fuckers ever nips you, then you know we're all here for you

I'm spending most of March in Thailand, B. You should make the short journey and join me for a few bottles of cold Leo. The Leeds Utd bar streams all the live games

Nothing wrong with his speech, Rhys. He emigrated here as a youngster from Wales, and he used to end every sentence sharper and louder with the word “see.” Fortunately, he talks more normally now.

Anyhow, the Reptile Park is looking forward to your arrival. They say when funnel web season ends they can put you on croc duty. The crocs try and swim over the fence when it floods so they need someone to push them back with a broom. The last bloke was unreliable and disappeared altogether in that big downpour we had a couple of weeks ago. They found his broom and boots floating in the water so I guess he must have just taken off - unreliable bludger. One of the crocs is still unaccounted for thanks to him so they definitely need someone with your experience of old crocs from previous marriages.

Not sure Thailand is a good idea with Covid 19, Rhys. Looking at the death rate by sex and age group it seems to be targeting old blokes like us. You might want to rethink that.

Are Leeds doing another pre season tour to God’s Own Country this year? If so, BobbyD, you and me can all go to that together. Booby was disappointed you didn’t join us last year in Parramatta and is looking forward to seeing you again.

[welshwhite]

Taffy had been living in Oz for a few years and was very hungry one day so walks in a Australian Reptile Park canteen and says "G'day, I'll have a Crocodile sandwich - and make it fucking snappy, innit".

Must dash, see!

[Blackwhite]

Three baboons escape from a Sydney zoo.

How the fuck did they find them among the general population?

[eric olthwaite]

They’ve relaunched the YP website so it’s less shit.

Not perfect, but significantly less shit definitely.

YP

[eric olthwaite]

Ducks v Locusts

[Blackwhite]

And what happens once they have a country full of ducks then?


Fly in a million captive-bred Habibous to chuck'em all out mebbe...

[Mustafaster]

And what happens once they have a country full of ducks then?


Fly in a million captive-bred Habibous to chuck'em all out mebbe...

Then we shall come an' eyt up t'ducks.

[OWETB]

http://carto.metro.free.fr/cartes/metro-tram-london/

[eric olthwaite]

This is good

Not just on coronavirus, but on the nature of the global response to disease, vaccines and preparedness.

[eric olthwaite]

Daimler employees can head to the beach this summer without worrying about checking emails, sparing their partners and children the frustration of work-related matters intruding on the family vacation.

The Stuttgart-based car and truckmaker said about 100,000 German employees can now choose to have all their incoming emails automatically deleted when they are on holiday so they do not return to a bulging in-box.

The sender is notified by the “Mail on Holiday” assistant that the email has not been received and is invited to contact a nominated substitute instead. Employees can therefore return from their summer vacation to an empty inbox.

[Blackwhite]

Been meaning to try this. Spoke to someone recently who did and said "nothing happened. They just called back."

[Devi]

Stock photo joy

[Blackwhite]

Stock photo joy

You know those photos accompanying any newspaper story about a research lab, with the prof in a startlingly virginal white coat, and his postdoc stood next to them holding a Petri dish up to the light; or instead with the prof sat side on to a tissue culture cabinet holding a pipette but obviously not doing anything?

These here are arguably less fake than those

[Blackwhite]

Nice piece on the dickheads behind WeWork.

[Devi]

This and more

[The Tin Man]

OH Yes I'm doing puzzles with Marcelo

[Devi]

Glorious