The state of UK politics

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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Tue May 19, 2020 8:45 am

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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eric olthwaite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue May 19, 2020 3:20 pm

Regular posters may have detected that I'm not exactly the most pro-military bloke on the planet, but how the fucking fuck is it possible for a British Army veteran to be categorised as a forrin so he doesn't get free medical care?
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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Tue May 19, 2020 3:28 pm

See also: Gurkhas. Vaguely know a few round me (tiny, fucking nails) and the stories are many.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Wed May 20, 2020 6:25 pm

I'm no big fan of Starmer, but watch fifteen minutes of one man living rent free in the other's head.


You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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The Tin Man
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby The Tin Man » Wed May 20, 2020 9:01 pm

Without all the hideous braying and overt point scoring, parliament looks almost civilised, decent and normal. Quite refreshing really.
For every step,the footprint was already there.

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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Yeboah » Thu May 21, 2020 9:57 pm


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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Eddies Boots » Fri May 22, 2020 1:51 am

Hilarious twatter thread there.
Twatterers telling each other how unrepresentative Twattering is, and still advocating their position. :lol: :lol:

Almost as good as the earlier one with the free-speech advocate/libertarian complaining that people were saying bad things about him. :roll:

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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Fri May 22, 2020 1:23 pm

So no criminal investigation into BoZo, but confirmation if ever it were even needed that he was fucking her and threw her 100k outside of due process. Perfectly fine.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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eric olthwaite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby eric olthwaite » Sun May 24, 2020 7:24 pm

Just seen that today is only ten months since Theresa May resigned.

:shock:
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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Sun May 24, 2020 9:00 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:Just seen that today is only ten months since Theresa May resigned.

:shock:

The words handcart, predictable and hell come to mind.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Devi
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Devi » Mon May 25, 2020 6:24 am

I see you, Dominic Cummings.

I see you contrarian’s face, the contempt practically dripping off you like sweat off a gonad in a sauna as you emerge from your car. You don’t care, do you? The cameras in your face and the morally grandstanding questions are like marshmallows bouncing off a tortoise. You couldn’t give a shit and you just keep crawling forwards. This is all part of the tedious theatre of politics, the endless cycle of outrage and contrition you have no respect for. You won’t be shamed into anything, mainly because the complete loss of shame as an emotion is a convenient side-effect of the humility bypass hardwired into your programming. You won’t be going anywhere unless they physically throw you out and that’s hardly likely, is it? Not when you know where all the bodies are buried.

It’s absolutely no surprise that you considered yourself above the rules. You self-identity as a legendary maverick, mentally chewing on a toothpick, rocking a pair of aviators and popping the collar of the sweet leather jacket in your mind. In your head you’re the outlaw genius with all the answers. Never mind the real world, where most people overcome the impulse to mindlessly buck all convention when they’re just about done with puberty. It’s permanent rebellion for you, with free markets and thousands of excess deaths for everyone else. The rules bend to accommodate Dominic, not the other way around. Everyone else can stay in their lane while you’re happily bombing up the outside of the M1, your wife coughing alongside you.

Anyone doubting the significance of your cog in the Rube Goldberg machine of our current government needs only to look at the humiliating scramble currently taking place to justify your behaviour. An entire nation hasn’t been gaslit this thoroughly since the turn of the industrial revolution. I don’t know what’s less believable; that driving over 200 miles when a member of the household is symptomatic was always within the rules, or that any offspring of Dominic Cummings ever needed active childcare in the first place. I’d have thought a heat lamp and the odd cricket would be all that was necessary. As for the man in front of the curtain it’s hardly surprising that Boris Johnson is on your side - he’s been going to extreme lengths to avoid looking after his own children for decades.

There’s one bonus for the government to come out of all this though - you’ve finally found a use for Grant Shapps, who it turns out is just the right size and shape to act as a squidgy, semi-sentient human shield in a press briefing. He’ll soak up any humiliation now and wring it out of his Wiki page later.

What’s truly remarkable is that anyone at all is considered indispensable at this point. We’ve got the second highest death rate in the entire world, all thanks to a pandemic response so cackhanded and full of holes that at times it’s looked like Abu Hamza in an iron maiden. The government haven’t covered themselves in glory so much as rolled around in a wet turd on the grass before looking up at us, tail wagging, somehow still expecting a pat on the head. They should be desperate for the opportunity to slaughter a sacrificial lamb at this point. It couldn't hurt, could it? Even if they accidentally pissed off some ancient and vengeful pagan God their wrath would probably still end up with less disastrous results.

If you’re this essential, Dominic Cummings, it begs the question - just how could things possibly get worse with you gone? I can only assume that you’ve been hand-operating Boris Johnson for so long now that there’s no other puppeteer left in the troupe who knows how to wave his hands about and make his mouth move at the same time. You’re so utterly invaluable to this carnival of chancers that they can’t even boot you now to save face while asking Williamson and Patel to show you where their secret tunnel for getting back in is.

There have been thousands of people making incredibly difficult decisions about how to best care for the people they love over the last few months. Families have been unable to sit at deathbeds or attend funerals, grandparents have missed not just birthdays but births themselves, and parents the length and breadth of the nation have made innumerable uncomfortable sacrifices, both personal and financial. That all of their impossible choices should be essentially rendered moot by ministers and advisers who either break the rules or bend them to accommodate their colleagues strikes at the very heart of why we ever accepted such illiberal and draconian measures in the first place.

We accepted lockdown willingly on the grounds that we were supposedly all in this together, bound by a collective responsibility to minimise the damage. You knew all that, and you chose to do whatever you wanted anyway. If you’d genuinely believed you were acting within the rules we wouldn’t be finding out about it now. You’d have written about it, or your wife would have written about it, or you would have informed someone in government at the time rather than retroactively hiding behind Johnson’s own illness.

You were too ill to look after your kids but well enough to drive. It was your only option but your wife's family lives in London. It was essential trip but it coincided nicely with a family birthday. You followed neither the letter nor the spirit of the law but you don’t care, do you, Dominic Cummings? The plebs should do as you say, not as you do, and even then it wouldn’t hurt if the odd one went even further and didn’t listen to the government slogans. If the Durham police or those bastards in Barnard Castle hadn’t been staying so alert you wouldn’t have got in this much bother in the first place. Best to just call them all liars now and hope all this just goes away.

The scandal continues to bubble on, with some backbench Tories now breaking ranks to call for your departure. It won’t bother you though, will it, Dominic Cummings? You’ve got too many cards up your sleeve, too many aces left to play. Best to just go for a walk and clear your head, your best friend and lapdog lolling around beside you.

I see you, Dominic Cummings, smiling as the dappled sunlight falls upon your face, the moss and grass of the woodland floor springing back from your footsteps as you walk among the flowers. Aren’t the bluebells lovely? This is the fresh new world you wanted to build - all green shoots and new pastures, erupting from the rot of the old one, the man behind you holding open the door for your vision to spring to life.

I see him, the blond mop of his hair trailing in his eyes, head bowed. I see the tears rolling silently down his face as he watches your back, his finger twitching on the trigger. Poor Boris. He has no idea what to do without you to tell him.

I see you bend down to consider the bluebells. Maybe this moment will never end. Maybe he’ll never have to do it.

Maybe he can just stand here forever, buffering and stuttering. Maybe everyone will forget about all this if he just holds on for long enough.

Just look at the flowers, Dominic Cummings.

I see you, Dominic Cummings. I fucking see you.


Glorious.
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eric olthwaite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby eric olthwaite » Mon May 25, 2020 8:17 am

A conspiracy theory if you like

There’s also a website called Truepublica which is posting stuff about Cummings. Never heard of it, but it keeps crashing at the minute.
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MightyWhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby MightyWhite » Mon May 25, 2020 8:46 am

Funny how those ‘I see you’ type things seem more entertaining when you’re part of the angry mob :mrgreen:
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jackos
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby jackos » Mon May 25, 2020 8:49 am

eric olthwaite wrote:There’s also a website called Truepublica which is posting stuff about Cummings. Never heard of it, but it keeps crashing at the minute.



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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Mon May 25, 2020 8:59 am

eric olthwaite wrote:A conspiracy theory if you like

There’s also a website called Truepublica which is posting stuff about Cummings. Never heard of it, but it keeps crashing at the minute.

Wasn't it you that pulled me up yonks ago for linking something by Murray? (Just pulling your pud if so.)
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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eric olthwaite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby eric olthwaite » Mon May 25, 2020 9:06 am

Blackwhite wrote:
eric olthwaite wrote:A conspiracy theory if you like

There’s also a website called Truepublica which is posting stuff about Cummings. Never heard of it, but it keeps crashing at the minute.

Wasn't it you that pulled me up yonks ago for linking something by Murray? (Just pulling your pud if so.)


Indeed. Just shit-stirring, as one does.
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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Mon May 25, 2020 9:10 am

It does seem like he wants it both ways there: equal parts "just saying" and "this means nothing".

The idea of secret deals of that kind being hatched outside of London is borderline mental. Given the actual vaccine deal has been made in public, any smoke and daggers element is more likely to happen in facing leather armchairs off the Strand than involve this little wonk stopping by an industrial plant.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Tue May 26, 2020 7:17 am

No surprise this one. Looking like the stuff from Cummings yesterday about how he'd "written about the dangers of coronavirus in the past" was technically true, but only if by "written about in the past" you meant "edited an old existing blogpost a few weeks back hoping nobody would notice".

Lying liars and the lies they tell. Who even wins from this, and what?

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Devi
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Devi » Tue May 26, 2020 9:12 am



:lol:
I like it. What is it?

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Blackwhite
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Re: The state of UK politics

Postby Blackwhite » Tue May 26, 2020 9:24 am

BoZo approval ratings

Image
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.


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