Because wives

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Heathrow White
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 7:29 am

Re: Because wives

Postby Heathrow White » Mon May 19, 2014 4:11 pm

I spent five years rebuilding a dump of a house, during which time I had a heart attack, died in A&E, was brought back had two heart ops, recovered and finished the house and it looked stunning but 10 days after it last job was done my wife asked a divorce and the house had to be sold. She got a wad of cash and left me for my 'Best Man'

I've spent all my money doing up another house for the last four years and now mortgaged till I'm 70. FFS :evil:

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Oheddieeddie
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:35 pm
Location: Tacky with sweat and poisonous particulates.

Re: Because wives

Postby Oheddieeddie » Mon May 19, 2014 4:18 pm

welshwhite wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:
welshwhite wrote:My wife left me four days ago.



Erm... because, well, internet, I can't tell if you're taking the piss. Want to tell us more?


It was totally out of the blue, she has changed for the worse since she joined the women's dart team down the local pub, she has now moved in with a butch woman darter ' a known lesbian' and she has not been home or in contact with me since their darts game on Thursday night.

If she had left me for another man I could have understood that, I love her with all of my heart and just want her back


Mmm sounds like she's hit the bullseye there.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere
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Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Mon May 19, 2014 4:21 pm

Heathrow White wrote:I spent five years rebuilding a dump of a house, during which time I had a heart attack, died in A&E, was brought back had two heart ops, recovered and finished the house and it looked stunning but 10 days after it last job was done my wife asked a divorce and the house had to be sold. She got a wad of cash and left me for my 'Best Man'



I've spent all my money doing up another house for the last four years and now mortgaged till I'm 70. FFS :evil:
What a total cunt.

I think you shared this story before, I almost kicked my wife out as a prophylactic measure.

Then I realised she's not the slightest bit cuntish, pays half of everything unless I treat her, and knows her new fella wouldn't last long. :salute: love
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

Wakefield White
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:57 pm
Location: t'other side o't hills

Re: Because wives

Postby Wakefield White » Mon May 19, 2014 4:41 pm

I'm getting married in August, this thread is quite scary!
Fuck you Rod Liddle, fuck you in your cunting fuckface you fucking third division cunt!
(courtesy of Ponte)

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welshwhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby welshwhite » Mon May 19, 2014 5:57 pm

Wakefield White wrote:I'm getting married in August, this thread is quite scary!


Hide her darts.....

jackos
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:49 am
Location: Stockholm

Re: Because wives

Postby jackos » Mon May 19, 2014 5:58 pm

welshwhite wrote:
Wakefield White wrote:I'm getting married in August, this thread is quite scary!


Hide her darts.....


:D :D :D
Traditional Socialist Bastard

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
Location: The dancefloor

Re: Because wives

Postby Man Called Sun » Mon May 19, 2014 8:08 pm

Heathrow White wrote:I spent five years rebuilding a dump of a house, during which time I had a heart attack, died in A&E, was brought back had two heart ops, recovered and finished the house and it looked stunning but 10 days after it last job was done my wife asked a divorce and the house had to be sold. She got a wad of cash and left me for my 'Best Man'

I've spent all my money doing up another house for the last four years and now mortgaged till I'm 70. FFS :evil:

Heathrow wins.
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Mon May 19, 2014 8:21 pm

Man Called Sun wrote:
Heathrow White wrote:I spent five years rebuilding a dump of a house, during which time I had a heart attack, died in A&E, was brought back had two heart ops, recovered and finished the house and it looked stunning but 10 days after it last job was done my wife asked a divorce and the house had to be sold. She got a wad of cash and left me for my 'Best Man'

I've spent all my money doing up another house for the last four years and now mortgaged till I'm 70. FFS :evil:

Heathrow wins.


If that's winning I'm glad I'm a loser!

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue May 20, 2014 8:29 am

eric olthwaite wrote:
Man Called Sun wrote:My wife is fucking mega.


Yeah, mine's alright. The more I see of people my age's relationships, the more I realise I just got dead lucky really.


Walked in from work yesterday; she looked me up and down and said, 'Your arse is the best bit, I just don't really like looking at your face'.

I take it all back.
Member of a clique

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
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Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Tue May 20, 2014 8:42 am

eric olthwaite wrote:Walked in from work yesterday; she looked me up and down and said, 'Your arse is the best bit, I just don't really like looking at your face'.

I take it all back.


Couldnt comment on your arse but she is right about the face :mrgreen:
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
Location: The dancefloor

Re: Because wives

Postby Man Called Sun » Tue May 20, 2014 8:55 am

Tycipa wrote:I don't know where to to start....they have this ability to just hit that spot, the spot, that no one else can get to. Why oh fucking why? I will love, honour and obey and will exasperate you until the day we both shall die.

Reading this again...how many wives have you got?
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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Proud to be Leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:51 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Proud to be Leeds » Tue May 20, 2014 12:17 pm

Yesterday I got home from work to the smell of food being prepared. Some juicy ribeye's getting marinated, samphire and tomatoes seasoned to perfection. I informed her that I was off the play football for a couple of hours and wont be back til 10pm. She says, don't worry just text me when you are 5 mins away and I will cook your steak. Walk through the door and seconds later I'm served a beautifully cooked slab of meat, plus half of hers. I don't think I'll be getting married any time soon.
Leeds United - I love you more than I want to.

Raising awareness for Oesophageal Cancer - https://www.justgiving.com/jeffcooper61/

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Tue May 20, 2014 1:27 pm

I do have to admit that life isn't that bad once I accept that I am always in the wrong :mrgreen:

My wife doesn't mind that I go to every Leeds league game, often taking the full weekend for some away games, she doesn't drink and also doesn't mind taking me to pubs, I get regular bacon and egg sandwiches in the morning, wine is kept stocked up at home and basically I have to do fuck all in the way of household chores.

So overall life is pretty good
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere
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Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Tue May 20, 2014 1:33 pm

SimonB wrote:I do have to admit that life isn't that bad once I accept that I am always in the wrong :mrgreen:

My wife doesn't mind that I go to every Leeds league game, often taking the full weekend for some away games, she doesn't drink and also doesn't mind taking me to pubs, I get regular bacon and egg sandwiches in the morning, wine is kept stocked up at home and basically I have to do fuck all in the way of household chores.

So overall life is pretty good

So in short, she wants you dead.

Stress, misery, cirrhosis, cholesterol, trans-fats.... Wake up and smell the caffeine-enhanced coffee Si :lol:
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

Beer Pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:45 am
Location: Doncaster

Re: Because wives

Postby Beer Pig » Tue May 20, 2014 1:47 pm

Blackwhite wrote:
SimonB wrote:I do have to admit that life isn't that bad once I accept that I am always in the wrong :mrgreen:

My wife doesn't mind that I go to every Leeds league game, often taking the full weekend for some away games, she doesn't drink and also doesn't mind taking me to pubs, I get regular bacon and egg sandwiches in the morning, wine is kept stocked up at home and basically I have to do fuck all in the way of household chores.

So overall life is pretty good

So in short, she wants you dead.

Stress, misery, cirrhosis, cholesterol, trans-fats.... Wake up and smell the caffeine-enhanced coffee Si :lol:


He's on borrowed time, literally! :mrgreen:
I gave up beer, it was the worst 15 minutes of my life.

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ARDS
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:58 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby ARDS » Tue May 20, 2014 7:08 pm

Heathrow thought he was badly done up but what about that Russian having too pay 2 and half billion "Yes" billion in a divorce settlement in Switzerland . :shock:
Forza Leeds Utd

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LSD&2Es
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:06 am
Location: Surrey

Re: Because wives

Postby LSD&2Es » Tue May 20, 2014 7:10 pm

Man Called Sun wrote:My wife is fucking mega.


Oh come on, she might have let herself go a bit, but she's not that big!
The Chief: "trust me, you can't have too many years with a club like Leeds."

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LSD&2Es
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:06 am
Location: Surrey

Re: Because wives

Postby LSD&2Es » Tue May 20, 2014 7:11 pm

welshwhite wrote:My wife left me four days ago.


So you and Linda are no longer together?? (does that just mean you've forgotten the password??) :roll:
The Chief: "trust me, you can't have too many years with a club like Leeds."

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
Location: The dancefloor

Re: Because wives

Postby Man Called Sun » Tue May 20, 2014 7:54 pm

LSD&2Es wrote:
Man Called Sun wrote:My wife is fucking mega.


Oh come on, she might have let herself go a bit, but she's not that big!

:lol:
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: Because wives

Postby Andymac-47 » Wed May 21, 2014 8:03 am

My eldest (19 male) is on a bit of health kick. No problem with that. Meal times in the evening is doing my head in. It's that he eats something else other than a usually healthy meal prepared for him by wife. Now she has has to stand and make to seperate meals. She works near enough full time and when I get at him for creating extra work she jumps all over me. When I make the dinner he won't even ask for something else as he knows he will get a short sharp fuck off. Same as when I get at him about anything, she decides to give me a kicking, but woo betide anybody getting involved with a row between him and her, and they are usually world war 3.
Andymac


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