Because wives

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sun Feb 23, 2020 5:56 pm

Me, cooking.
Her: walks into the kitchen, adjusts one of the rings.
Me: ‘what’re you doing?’
Her: ‘well I thought it was supposed to be simmering’
Me: ‘it was’

I wouldn’t mind, but if I did that when she was cooking, she’d throw the fucking pan at me.
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Matt White
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2019 10:34 pm
Location: God's own Essex

Re: Because wives

Postby Matt White » Fri Mar 20, 2020 2:07 pm

Have just had a reasoned discussion involving why she shouldn't use baby oil to stop the lawnmower squeaking. While I get that it will work, there is a hardware shop 400 yards away that will have some 3 in 1 and I offered to go there tomorrow. Nope, seems the lawn has got to be mown right now.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:43 pm

Mrs O has already been self-isolating for two weeks and is deeply fed up with the state of her hair. We’ve started to discuss whether I can do the back if she does the front. She’s basically a skinhead at the back and I sometimes do mine, so it doesn’t, in theory, seem an impossible task.

I feel, however, that I may be heading towards a level of danger beyond my comprehension.
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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:45 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:Mrs O has already been self-isolating for two weeks and is deeply fed up with the state of her hair. We’ve started to discuss whether I can do the back if she does the front. She’s basically a skinhead at the back and I sometimes do mine, so it doesn’t, in theory, seem an impossible task.

I feel, however, that I may be heading towards a level of danger beyond my comprehension.

What could possibly go wrong?
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:36 pm

Zero. All over.


Some people just really suit it, and only the radical 'slip' reveals it...



Some people look like extras from Les Mis. Your balls, your call.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:23 am

Mustafaster wrote:
eric olthwaite wrote:Mrs O has already been self-isolating for two weeks and is deeply fed up with the state of her hair. We’ve started to discuss whether I can do the back if she does the front. She’s basically a skinhead at the back and I sometimes do mine, so it doesn’t, in theory, seem an impossible task.

I feel, however, that I may be heading towards a level of danger beyond my comprehension.

What could possibly go wrong?


I'd rather take my chances with the virus

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:23 am

"Going anywhere nice on your holidays, Mrs O? I just just took a trip down the parcel office meself... "

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OWETB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Eating pig with the Prophet Mohammed

Re: Because wives

Postby OWETB » Wed Mar 25, 2020 5:33 pm

Meanwhile at the olthwaites...

Image

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Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Mon Apr 27, 2020 1:40 pm

Mrs Devi, doing homework with Step Devi Jnr, looking for things from which to take rubbings, make a collage and send through to the South East London school he attends.

"What else can we do? We've done a leaf, a coin, a floorboard. What about a credit card?"

:roll:
I like it. What is it?

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Ponte
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.

Re: Because wives

Postby Ponte » Mon Apr 27, 2020 2:03 pm

Devi wrote:Mrs Devi, doing homework with Step Devi Jnr, looking for things from which to take rubbings, make a collage and send through to the South East London school he attends.

"What else can we do? We've done a leaf, a coin, a floorboard. What about a credit card?"

:roll:

Post the pictures when she's done :thumbl:
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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Mon Apr 27, 2020 2:17 pm

Ponte wrote:
Devi wrote:Mrs Devi, doing homework with Step Devi Jnr, looking for things from which to take rubbings, make a collage and send through to the South East London school he attends.

"What else can we do? We've done a leaf, a coin, a floorboard. What about a credit card?"

:roll:

Post the pictures when she's done :thumbl:

Needs the back view too so we can, er, see the embossing from the other side or something.

What's your postcode mate?
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Mon Apr 27, 2020 2:42 pm

Devi wrote:Mrs Devi, doing homework with Step Devi Jnr, looking for things from which to take rubbings, make a collage and send through to the South East London school he attends.

"What else can we do? We've done a leaf, a coin, a floorboard. What about a credit card?"

:roll:


Suppose atleast there's no blood relation to you

Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: Because wives

Postby Andymac-47 » Mon Apr 27, 2020 4:22 pm

Devi wrote:Mrs Devi, doing homework with Step Devi Jnr, looking for things from which to take rubbings, make a collage and send through to the South East London school he attends.

"What else can we do? We've done a leaf, a coin, a floorboard. What about a credit card?"

:roll:

:lol: :lol: :lol: brilliant.
Andymac

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sun May 24, 2020 11:33 am

Polite word of warning, gentlemen. It appears that the wife birthday situation requires an unusual degree of forethought what with online shopping, dispatch delays etc. I suspect I may be heading in towards An Issue.
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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Sun May 24, 2020 1:17 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:Polite word of warning, gentlemen. It appears that the wife birthday situation requires an unusual degree of forethought what with online shopping, dispatch delays etc. I suspect I may be heading in towards An Issue.


OK, give us a few pointers as to what she likes and we'll order something nice. How long we got?

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Phil LUFC
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:26 pm
Location: Scunthorpe

Re: Because wives

Postby Phil LUFC » Sun May 24, 2020 1:21 pm

dirty leeds wrote:
eric olthwaite wrote:Polite word of warning, gentlemen. It appears that the wife birthday situation requires an unusual degree of forethought what with online shopping, dispatch delays etc. I suspect I may be heading in towards An Issue.


OK, give us a few pointers as to what she likes and we'll order something nice. How long we got?

Not enough time to get the lawn done.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Sun May 24, 2020 1:25 pm

Phil LUFC wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:
eric olthwaite wrote:Polite word of warning, gentlemen. It appears that the wife birthday situation requires an unusual degree of forethought what with online shopping, dispatch delays etc. I suspect I may be heading in towards An Issue.


OK, give us a few pointers as to what she likes and we'll order something nice. How long we got?

Not enough time to get the lawn done.


Bastard.

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MightyWhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:38 am
Location: Notts

Re: Because wives

Postby MightyWhite » Sun May 24, 2020 1:36 pm

dirty leeds wrote:
eric olthwaite wrote:Polite word of warning, gentlemen. It appears that the wife birthday situation requires an unusual degree of forethought what with online shopping, dispatch delays etc. I suspect I may be heading in towards An Issue.


OK, give us a few pointers as to what she likes and we'll order something nice. How long we got?


I understand Wish.com have a good line of produce for the discerning lady
Keep Fighting

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Sun May 24, 2020 6:04 pm

Sounds like we'll be buying a stone at Elland Road for Eric very soon.

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Tue May 26, 2020 6:22 pm

How a splitarse mind works.
Señora Musta: What do you reckon to getting some of them Crocs to wear around the house and garden?
Musta: Nah, don't like them, they're a bit crap and not that comfortable, I'm fine with what I've got, these are really comfortable now.
Señora: Well I think you're wrong, you should get some.
:scratch:
Obviously she's right. Tomorrow I shall go out and get some.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.


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