Because wives

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Fri Jan 29, 2021 5:30 pm

the flying pig wrote:Pictures of me from the early 00s depress the hell out of me, there's no way i want to see them on a daily basis.


Embarrassment or pining for lost youth?
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the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Sat Jan 30, 2021 10:11 am

eric olthwaite wrote:
the flying pig wrote:Pictures of me from the early 00s depress the hell out of me, there's no way i want to see them on a daily basis.


Embarrassment or pining for lost youth?


the latter

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FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
Location: Hanging Out The Back Of Winona Ryder

Re: Because wives

Postby FER » Tue Feb 02, 2021 12:10 pm

Blackwhite wrote:My immediate question is, why are you not in more trouble for rating her friends on how good a snogger they are?

If you really want to cause problems, start calling one of them Toothy BJ


Not Mrs FER's friends, they were mine back in the day. If I'd have got a BJ, she would have been named such.

Phil LUFC wrote:Sounds like she should have objected on the grounds you were looking at Decent Snog more than the arm round Blonde Bombshell. I suppose what we really need is to see the photo so we can make a more informed judgement.


Mrs FER was complaining about the arm. Snog was facing the wrong way to camera.

topbin wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:Aye, the fact that he introduced them as " ... 'Good Mate', 'Hot Friend', 'Bombshell Blonde' and 'Decent Snog'" is the tell. She's right. He's wrong. And don't think we didn't notice that little "for a photo shoot" bollocks. Card well and truly marked, my lad.


DL nails this. You're guilty as charged.


Well I didn't want to use their names on an open forum.

Quiffy wrote:so only me that's wondering what sort of photoshoot this was? what specialist publication paid for it? does FER dare upload the results? is the hasselhof avatar a hint as to this man's physical prowess?


Hot and Bombshell arranged it, I just tagged along. Ended up doing a Bond stylee thing where I was suited & booted and the girls were dressed as Bond Girls.

Blackwhite wrote:FER, this your mate?


Same style, just smaller (thankfully).
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Feb 02, 2021 12:16 pm

Yeah, Mrs FER is right. He's a scoundrel.

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Phil LUFC
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:26 pm
Location: Scunthorpe

Re: Because wives

Postby Phil LUFC » Fri Feb 05, 2021 5:02 pm

Blackwhite wrote:My car is about that old. Hmm. Maybe I should get myself a Phil too.

I've been one upped (significantly). A baller I won't name has bought his wife a house for her birthday.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere
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Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Fri Feb 05, 2021 5:04 pm

That's a lot of money for a quiet life...
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Fri Feb 05, 2021 5:33 pm

Phil LUFC wrote:
Blackwhite wrote:My car is about that old. Hmm. Maybe I should get myself a Phil too.

I've been one upped (significantly). A baller I won't name has bought his wife a house for her birthday.


Divorce?

Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: Because wives

Postby Andymac-47 » Fri Feb 05, 2021 6:34 pm

Phil LUFC wrote:
Blackwhite wrote:My car is about that old. Hmm. Maybe I should get myself a Phil too.

I've been one upped (significantly). A baller I won't name has bought his wife a house for her birthday.

I like that idea, how far away is it?
Andymac

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Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Fri Feb 12, 2021 2:45 pm

Note to self: do not let Mrs Devi loose with the hair clippers. Having done the front and beard perfectly myself, the back looks like I’m on my way back from the vets, having just been spayed.
I like it. What is it?

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Blackwhite
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Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Fri Feb 12, 2021 3:15 pm

They removed both your ovaries? Poor love.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Fri Feb 12, 2021 3:44 pm

When Mrs O cooks, my role is to eat the plate of food which gets put in front of me.

When I cook, Mrs O’s role is to carry out a detailed forensic analysis of every ingredient. ‘You’re putting what in? Why?

It’s wearing, gentlemen. Very wearing.
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Blackwhite
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Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Fri Feb 12, 2021 4:09 pm

The response in our house is "This recipe doesn't need any wine, so fuck off".
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Fri Feb 12, 2021 4:21 pm

Mrs AP was wanting new flooring but this has quickly escalated to wanting to sell the house.

I'm riding this out with a supportive manner without committing to anything. It's a struggle.

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MightyWhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:38 am
Location: Notts

Re: Because wives

Postby MightyWhite » Fri Feb 12, 2021 4:42 pm

I hope you responded in the time honoured manner when she announced ’I want flooring’
Keep Fighting

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Fri Feb 12, 2021 5:20 pm

MightyWhite wrote:I hope you responded in the time honoured manner when she announced ’I want flooring’


Trust me if anyone would be doing any "flooring" it would be Mrs AP. I've seen her run after a jogger whilst 9months pregnant because he brushed my wing mirror while crossing the road. I'd happily take her to Millwall away.

Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: Because wives

Postby Andymac-47 » Fri Feb 12, 2021 6:35 pm

AndyPaul wrote:
MightyWhite wrote:I hope you responded in the time honoured manner when she announced ’I want flooring’


Trust me if anyone would be doing any "flooring" it would be Mrs AP. I've seen her run after a jogger whilst 9months pregnant because he brushed my wing mirror while crossing the road. I'd happily take her to Millwall away.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Andymac

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Fri Feb 12, 2021 6:45 pm

Now I hate to throw food out, because Yorkshire tha knows.
But, I fess up, very occasionally stuff gets stuck at the back of the fridge and the odd yoghurt gets binned.
So Señora Musta finds a yoghurt that's a couple or three days out of date .
What's this? Why have I allowed this?
Why haven't I eaten it?
Terrible unforgivable waste!

No luv, I'll eat it with supper, it's fine to eat, honest. Don't bin it.

Madness! It could give me botulism or worse.
She bins it ... and I get it in the neck for ecological vandalism.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
Location: Hanging Out The Back Of Winona Ryder

Re: Because wives

Postby FER » Tue Feb 16, 2021 12:08 pm

Mrs FER has decided she now needs a slow cooker.

'Just a basic one, in case it just gets left in a box in the cupboard'

If there's one thing I know will get left in the cupboard, it's a slow cooker.
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue Feb 16, 2021 12:55 pm

FER wrote:Mrs FER has decided she now needs a slow cooker.

'Just a basic one, in case it just gets left in a box in the cupboard'

If there's one thing I know will get left in the cupboard, it's a slow cooker.


We realised t’other day that our slow cooker is probably our oldest still-functioning electrical device. Maybe c.1985 vintage? Can’t say we’ve used it weekly but I reckon it’s probably just about paid for itself.
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Quiffy
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 6:56 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Quiffy » Tue Feb 16, 2021 1:03 pm

FER wrote:Mrs FER has decided she now needs a slow cooker.

'Just a basic one, in case it just gets left in a box in the cupboard'

If there's one thing I know will get left in the cupboard, it's a slow cooker.


i made a curry in ours yesterday. a fucking veggy curry with far too many chickpeas as i didn't appreciate how they go off like popcorn. did a sausage casserole in it last week. £30 well spent when they also help heat and scent the room for a whole afternoon.
increasing doubt, decreasing hope, even my imaginary friend went and changed his mind.


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