Because wives

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:35 pm

Mrs O's been looking for a new winter coat for months without seeing anything she liked. I saw something, thought it would fit the bill and ordered on spec for her to try. It's fantastic, apparently.

I'm hoping the grace period on this will last as long as . . . I dunno . . . three or four days, maybe?
Member of a clique

User avatar
Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:38 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:Mrs O's been looking for a new winter coat for months without seeing anything she liked. I saw something, thought it would fit the bill and ordered on spec for her to try. It's fantastic, apparently.

I'm hoping the grace period on this will last as long as . . . I dunno . . . three or four days, maybe?

That is hugely suspicious.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:08 pm

Mustafaster wrote:
eric olthwaite wrote:Mrs O's been looking for a new winter coat for months without seeing anything she liked. I saw something, thought it would fit the bill and ordered on spec for her to try. It's fantastic, apparently.

I'm hoping the grace period on this will last as long as . . . I dunno . . . three or four days, maybe?

That is hugely suspicious.



Oh man, is Eric in trouble. Maybe start a whip-round now for his wreath?

User avatar
AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:16 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:Mrs O's been looking for a new winter coat for months without seeing anything she liked. I saw something, thought it would fit the bill and ordered on spec for her to try. It's fantastic, apparently.

I'm hoping the grace period on this will last as long as . . . I dunno . . . three or four days, maybe?


Thought you'd been married long enough to know you've fucked up some how and to be prepared for the shitstorm coming your way

User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:24 pm

Better to play the game and lose than never to play the game at all.
Member of a clique

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:14 pm

Well, you say that, but... in the same week that Mrs O refers to us affectionately as 'cunts' [even approving our TV choices], she now says she likes a coat you bought for her.
I mean, is the car still OK? Anything else broken? Still got all your cards? She's done something. Shirley?

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:15 pm

dp.

Wakefield White
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:57 pm
Location: t'other side o't hills

Re: Because wives

Postby Wakefield White » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:33 pm

dirty leeds wrote:dp.


What an open minded lady.
Fuck you Rod Liddle, fuck you in your cunting fuckface you fucking third division cunt!
(courtesy of Ponte)

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:35 pm

Wakefield White wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:dp.


What an open minded lady.



Post, ya cunt. But what do I know? :mrgreen:

User avatar
AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:40 pm

So we are all agreed Eric is screwed. The decision now is did we like him enough to buy him a stone with his name on at Elland Road :mrgreen:

User avatar
Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:28 pm

Wakefield White wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:dp.


What an open minded lady.

:lol: :lol:
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

User avatar
Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:47 pm

Wakefield White wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:dp.


What an open minded lady.

Not only her mind ...
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

User avatar
AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Thu Dec 17, 2020 5:00 pm

I wish I was gay or maybe just a little single cell organism actually, that seems like a peaceful life.

User avatar
Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Thu Dec 17, 2020 5:27 pm

AndyPaul wrote:I wish I was gay or maybe just a little single cell organism actually, that seems like a peaceful life.

I'm sure there's an excellent story in here but it would be insensitive to ask.

I'm sure your festive pain is felt more widely.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

User avatar
Ponte
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.

Re: Because wives

Postby Ponte » Thu Dec 17, 2020 6:41 pm

AndyPaul wrote:I wish I was gay or maybe just a little single cell organism actually, that seems like a peaceful life.

Ooooo do tell...

Blackwhite wrote:I'm sure there's an excellent story in here but it would be insensitive to ask.

:mrgreen:

User avatar
AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Thu Dec 17, 2020 6:54 pm

Ponte wrote:
AndyPaul wrote:I wish I was gay or maybe just a little single cell organism actually, that seems like a peaceful life.

Ooooo do tell...

Blackwhite wrote:I'm sure there's an excellent story in here but it would be insensitive to ask.

:mrgreen:


In fairness it's not her it's me, it's all fucking me...

User avatar
Phil LUFC
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:26 pm
Location: Scunthorpe

Re: Because wives

Postby Phil LUFC » Thu Dec 17, 2020 6:55 pm

AndyPaul wrote:
Ponte wrote:
AndyPaul wrote:I wish I was gay or maybe just a little single cell organism actually, that seems like a peaceful life.

Ooooo do tell...

Blackwhite wrote:I'm sure there's an excellent story in here but it would be insensitive to ask.

:mrgreen:


In fairness it's not her it's me, it's all fucking me...

:?

You fucking bastard, how could you :thumbd: . Unless you did more than forget to put the bins out, in which case I don't have the words.

User avatar
Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Thu Dec 17, 2020 7:01 pm

I forgot to put the bins out once, about nine years ago.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

User avatar
Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Tue Dec 22, 2020 10:33 am

I buy child headphones for Xmas
I tell her I’ve bought them
She takes child out with child’s dad to buy Xmas present
Buys headphones
Gives child headphones ahead of Xmas
Child no longer needs or wants the headphones I bought
I’m pissed off at wasting money I don’t have
I have to find new gift in Tier 4 shops.

This is, of course, my fault.
I like it. What is it?

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Dec 22, 2020 11:06 am

Devi wrote:I buy child headphones for Xmas
I tell her I’ve bought them
She takes child out with child’s dad to buy Xmas present
Buys headphones
Gives child headphones ahead of Xmas
Child no longer needs or wants the headphones I bought
I’m pissed off at wasting money I don’t have
I have to find new gift in Tier 4 shops.

This is, of course, my fault.


Jesus.


Return to “The Square Ball”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Devi, Poshwhite and 42 guests