Because wives

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
User avatar
Oheddieeddie
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:35 pm
Location: Tacky with sweat and poisonous particulates.

Re: Because wives

Postby Oheddieeddie » Sat Feb 03, 2018 9:32 am

Blackwhite wrote:OEE, that is a candidate for the most terrible abstract I've ever read. What shite is this. "Short lazy losers can't be arsed to shave or exercise and can't get laid, here's a specious hormonal argument."



If that paper gets cited once, even by themselves, they've done very well.


Ah ok yes, didnt actually read it before posting. I was aware there was lots of research and just posted first one I saw. Do you think Mrs Eric is likely to require a higher academic rigour?

User avatar
Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Sat Feb 03, 2018 9:53 am

I think she's said all she's going to say on the matter *huffs*
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sat Feb 03, 2018 10:03 am

dirty leeds wrote:How do you feel about the designer stubble look, as an interim step?


Yes, this thought occurred to me. Possibly less annoying, whilst avoiding outright capitulation.

User avatar
Ponte
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.

Re: Because wives

Postby Ponte » Sat Feb 03, 2018 10:12 am

eric olthwaite wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:How do you feel about the designer stubble look, as an interim step?


Yes, this thought occurred to me. Possibly less annoying, whilst avoiding outright capitulation.

I had a similar situation christmas previous, bearded up and was going to shave it until I was told to. I compromised by running a beard trimmer on the shortest setting over it every 4few days. She wasn’t 100% happy but I feel I won. Still keep it like that now as I like it and it’s easy.
You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-orientated material. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned.
Hmmm.

User avatar
Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:28 pm

From time to time wimmin are actually right. A stopped clock and all that...
Get a bloody shave.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

User avatar
SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Mon Feb 05, 2018 1:54 pm

I miss my beard.

Im not allowed to have one
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

User avatar
FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
Location: Hanging Out The Back Of Winona Ryder

Re: Because wives

Postby FER » Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:41 pm

SimonB wrote:I miss my beard.

Im not allowed to have one


I like mine.

I'm not allowed to not have one.
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

User avatar
SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:49 pm

FER wrote:
SimonB wrote:I miss my beard.

Im not allowed to have one


I like mine.

I'm not allowed to not have one.


Mine looked good though
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

User avatar
OWETB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Eating pig with the Prophet Mohammed

Re: Because wives

Postby OWETB » Tue Feb 06, 2018 3:06 pm

SimonB wrote:
FER wrote:
SimonB wrote:I miss my beard.

Im not allowed to have one


I like mine.

I'm not allowed to not have one.


Mine looked good though


No it didn't, you looked a right scruffy cunt :mrgreen:

User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:40 am

Useful cards for Valentine's Day

Image

User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue Feb 27, 2018 1:56 pm

There are two usable workspaces in my house. One is reasonably warm on a bloody cold snow day like today; the other is freezing.

Guess which one I'm using?

User avatar
Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Tue Feb 27, 2018 3:12 pm

Phone call from the delightful Señora Musta: She's take the mutts for a walk, come home and realised she's locked herself out.
Can Señor Musta come home and let her in?
Señor Musta's working on summat that has to be done by close of play today. Can Señora come to the office and pick up Señor's keys?
Well, Señor is only 15 minutes from home, surely he can come home with the keys!
Well, Señora is also only 15 mins from the office, it's exactly the same distance.
But it's very cold and the poor mutts are hungry, it's lunchtime!
Señor puts foot down, no fuckin way is he going to take the keys home and drive back to work.
Guess who's the cunt in this situation?
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Feb 27, 2018 3:24 pm

DL and Mrs DL switch bank accounts from the greedy motherfucking Halifax to an online bank that gives us each £125 for the privilege of our new business. We both get new cards and separate letters informing us our new PINs, the latter [as usual] stating you can change your PIN to something you prefer on first use if you go to the local branch of [in this case] HSBC. I do this weeks ago. Ever helpful, I tell Mrs DL where said branch is, should she wish to do likewise. Weeks pass by and now she's said lost letter with PIN and can't remember the new number. This is my fault - apparently because she's had it in mind that she must use only the HSBC suggested and hasn't been that way recently [she has, actually, but no matter], and now she's discovered that she didn't really have to use HSBC at all because she had no intention of changing her PIN anyway. I point out that she had the same letter as me with all this info in it. No, it's still my fault because I gave her the impression that only this one branch would take her card on first use.

User avatar
Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Feb 27, 2018 3:36 pm

You fucking monster.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

User avatar
the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Tue Feb 27, 2018 4:01 pm

dirty leeds wrote:DL and Mrs DL switch bank accounts from the greedy motherfucking Halifax to an online bank that gives us each £125 for the privilege of our new business. We both get new cards and separate letters informing us our new PINs, the latter [as usual] stating you can change your PIN to something you prefer on first use if you go to the local branch of [in this case] HSBC. I do this weeks ago. Ever helpful, I tell Mrs DL where said branch is, should she wish to do likewise. Weeks pass by and now she's said lost letter with PIN and can't remember the new number. This is my fault - apparently because she's had it in mind that she must use only the HSBC suggested and hasn't been that way recently [she has, actually, but no matter], and now she's discovered that she didn't really have to use HSBC at all because she had no intention of changing her PIN anyway. I point out that she had the same letter as me with all this info in it. No, it's still my fault because I gave her the impression that only this one branch would take her card on first use.


yep, sounds like emotional abuse to me, that poor woman. she should change the locks next time you're out hoovering up marching powder off a gala luncheon menu or whatever else it is that your lot passes off as work these days.

User avatar
Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Feb 27, 2018 5:51 pm

By contrast I have had no more than two mentions of leaving the wife on the doorstep for half an hour in the cold as she'd left her keys at home knowing I was there.


I was listening to music on headphones, not knowing she didn't have her key or her phone (my phone was linked to cans so I'd have heard her).



They're Bose noise canceling jobbies.

She bought me them.

I told her what a great gift they were.


Don't expect I'll hear about it again.

Hooray for low maintenance women.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Tue Feb 27, 2018 7:55 pm

Blackwhite wrote:They're Bose noise canceling jobbies.


Don't expect I'll hear about it again.


Ho Ho.

User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sun Mar 11, 2018 1:16 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:Gentlemen

I fear I am skewered upon the horns of an impenetrable dilemma. I bearded up about Christmas, and about a week into January she said, ‘I quite like it, I think’. About a week ago she said, ‘No, I don’t like it, shave it off’.

Here’s the thing: at that point I was also about to shave it off. I’m just not up for the shit growing on my face; don’t like the feel of it, it bugs me. But now I can’t get rid because the last thing I want to do is give the impression that I’m doing what she says.

So how long do I have to leave it before I can be seen to make an independent decision? Or what alternative exit strategy could I pursue?


Me, this morning: ‘Right, I’m going to shave it off, can’t be arsed with it any more’.

Mrs O: ‘Oh no, don’t, I like it now’

Okay, so I’m feeling the moral victory, but :scratch:

User avatar
Oheddieeddie
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:35 pm
Location: Tacky with sweat and poisonous particulates.

Re: Because wives

Postby Oheddieeddie » Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:09 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:
eric olthwaite wrote:Gentlemen

I fear I am skewered upon the horns of an impenetrable dilemma. I bearded up about Christmas, and about a week into January she said, ‘I quite like it, I think’. About a week ago she said, ‘No, I don’t like it, shave it off’.

Here’s the thing: at that point I was also about to shave it off. I’m just not up for the shit growing on my face; don’t like the feel of it, it bugs me. But now I can’t get rid because the last thing I want to do is give the impression that I’m doing what she says.

So how long do I have to leave it before I can be seen to make an independent decision? Or what alternative exit strategy could I pursue?


Me, this morning: ‘Right, I’m going to shave it off, can’t be arsed with it any more’.

Mrs O: ‘Oh no, don’t, I like it now’

Okay, so I’m feeling the moral victory, but :scratch:


Nooo Eric don't be fooled.

Women are generally devious slithery creatures, who twist and turn like twisty turny things. You are currently caught in a psychodrama of epic precautions. It may seem like an innocent comment, but the fair sex are scheming plotting, all the time

She has you confused, she has you right where she wants you baffled, conflicted unsure.

To clarify, she's saying she likes it precisely in order to get you to shave it off because she hates it.

Hope that helps

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:16 am

And the sting is she'll use it against you anyway, because you went against her advice just to prove your assertiveness/free will/male dominance. Don't you worry, the time will come to bring this up again.


Return to “The Square Ball”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Blackwhite, Google [Bot], Mr Reality, thechubbyone and 11 guests