Because wives

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:09 pm

Tycipa wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:
Tycipa wrote:Nah, fuck it, do the latter - prove to her you’re an untamable lion. Secretly she’ll fucking love you for it.


Yes, it's exactly what he is.

If the internet thinks it’s right then you must be wrong. Write? :study:


No, I just meant TFP is very definitely a creature beyond any woman's futile attempts to contain his will side. Have you met him? Oh yes, dammit, you might have...

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:52 pm

Because I'm a twat, I replaced the car battery in the rain and dark tonight - ugly job on an Italian car as you'd expect.

Mrs O offered to stand in the rain holding a torch and then, when I dropped a fucking socket into the depths of the engine she went and got a kebab skewer and managed to fish it out after five minutes of leaning right in and faffing about.

She's alright, really.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:02 pm

An unremarkable reciprocal arrangement: when Mrs O cooks, I tidy the kitchen afterwards and vice versa.

However, when I cook I tend to tidy up a bit as I’m going along. When Mrs 0 cooks, the kitchen ends up looking like a weapons test in a waste food skip.

I feel somewhat aggrieved.

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Ontolly
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 pm
Location: Shrewsbury

Re: Because wives

Postby Ontolly » Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:13 pm

eric olthwaite wrote: kebab skewer


Ooh get her :shock:
The only thing we knew for sure about Henry Porter was that his name wasn't Henry Porter.

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Ponte
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.

Re: Because wives

Postby Ponte » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:04 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:An unremarkable reciprocal arrangement: when Mrs O cooks, I tidy the kitchen afterwards and vice versa.

However, when I cook I tend to tidy up a bit as I’m going along. When Mrs 0 cooks, the kitchen ends up looking like a weapons test in a waste food skip.

I feel somewhat aggrieved.

I feel your pain. I have no idea how my missus can destroy the kitchen so well when she cooks. I tidy when she cooks and I tidy when I cook. It’s simpler that way.
The dishwasher used to be the cause of repeated arguments, or more accurately her illogical method of stacking it. We solved that by her now not bothering to do it.
You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-orientated material. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned.
Hmmm.

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Ponte
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.

Re: Because wives

Postby Ponte » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:21 pm

Why, when we are settling down to watch something does she decide she wants a cup of tea 5 mins in to said show? This is not an isolated incident.
You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-orientated material. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned.
Hmmm.

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Ontolly
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 pm
Location: Shrewsbury

Re: Because wives

Postby Ontolly » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:50 pm

Ponte wrote:Why, when we are settling down to watch something does she decide she wants a cup of tea 5 mins in to said show? This is not an isolated incident.


Put it on pause and tell her to bring you one whilst she's up and maybe she can make a right fucking mess for you to clear up whilst she's about it :thumbl:
The only thing we knew for sure about Henry Porter was that his name wasn't Henry Porter.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:03 am

Ponte wrote:Why, when we are settling down to watch something does she decide she wants a cup of tea 5 mins in to said show? This is not an isolated incident.



Mrs DL's take on this is to say how much she's looking forward to [say] McMafia and then five mins in start asking me about the son's school options or daughter's karate arrangements.

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
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Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Mon Jan 22, 2018 12:52 pm

dirty leeds wrote:
Ponte wrote:Why, when we are settling down to watch something does she decide she wants a cup of tea 5 mins in to said show? This is not an isolated incident.



Mrs DL's take on this is to say how much she's looking forward to [say] McMafia and then five mins in start asking me about the son's school options or daughter's karate arrangements.


I hate that, my mrs is like this. We sit down, start the programme and then she decides she wants to talk. So I pause the programme to respond and then get into trouble for having my finger hovering over the start button for when she decides she has finished. Fucks me right off.

Its even worse when she pops in to say something when I am watching something as after the conversation is finished she may sit there for a while and as soon as I press play she will think of something else to say. And if I wait she asks me what I am waiting for and when I answer I get into trouble for that as well
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Mon Jan 22, 2018 12:56 pm

SimonB wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:Mrs DL's take on this is to say how much she's looking forward to [say] McMafia and then five mins in start asking me about the son's school options or daughter's karate arrangements.


I hate that, my mrs is like this. We sit down, start the programme and then she decides she wants to talk. So I pause the programme to respond and then get into trouble for having my finger hovering over the start button for when she decides she has finished. Fucks me right off.

Its even worse when she pops in to say something when I am watching something as after the conversation is finished she may sit there for a while and as soon as I press play she will think of something else to say. And if I wait she asks me what I am waiting for and when I answer I get into trouble for that as well


There's no way out, is there? If you'd taken the other obvious option - by replying, 'Darling, do you mind if we watch this now and talk about X later?', you'll be wrong too.

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SimonB
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Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:04 pm

Its a definite no win situation

"oh so you don't want to talk to me then"
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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Ponte
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.

Re: Because wives

Postby Ponte » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:12 pm

SimonB wrote:I hate that, my mrs is like this. We sit down, start the programme and then she decides she wants to talk. So I pause the programme to respond and then get into trouble for having my finger hovering over the start button for when she decides she has finished. Fucks me right off.


Yip, I do that too. gets right on her tits :mrgreen:

She also fucks about with her ipad whilst we watch something, then asks a question...timing the question so she's talking over another important piece of dialogue. Why can't they sit down at the start of the show, shut the fuck up and watch it?
You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-orientated material. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned.
Hmmm.

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SimonB
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Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:15 pm

I know, my thoughts exactly. I also get the question "whats going on?" after she has spend the last ten minutes staring at her phone
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:19 pm

Me: watching something.

Mrs O, from the kitchen with either the washing machine, dryer or kettle on in the background: ‘Mumble mumble mumble, mumble mumble, mumble mumble?’

(2 minutes later, storms into the room)

WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER ME?

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:19 pm

:mrgreen:
Seems to be a universal trait.
Señora Musta thought it would be a grand idea if we watched summat together.
Great idea. We can watch The Crown, we'd both enjoy that.
Bloody impossible.
"Who's that? Why are they doing that? Why is the Queen so emotionally repressed!? Is that the same Winston Churchill who won the war? Yada yada yada...

Just watch the damn thing and you'll find out, ya daft bugger.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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SimonB
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Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:22 pm

what I don't understand is that at the cinema she will sit quietly, why is it so difficult to do that at home?
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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Proud to be Leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:51 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Proud to be Leeds » Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:47 pm

This is why me and Mrs PTBL don't own a TV. Well, it's not really, but it's the best solution to your problem fellas.
Leeds United - I love you more than I want to.

Cycling 500km for The Stroke Association - https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Adam-Yeadon1
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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:29 pm

Spend those long winter's evenings going over celebrity medical reports?
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Quiffy
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 6:56 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Quiffy » Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:54 pm

Ponte wrote:She also fucks about with her ipad whilst we watch something, then asks a question...timing the question so she's talking over another important piece of dialogue. Why can't they sit down at the start of the show, shut the fuck up and watch it?


sort of role reversal in my house. i'm not too good at watching telly, but have started to watch more now we've a good telly, but i can't concentrate for long enough, whilst the wife's an expert. she sits on her laptop 'working' (normally fiddling with timetables) and manages to pick up all the little plot devices that pass me by. it does make me realise what a thick twat i am sometimes, as well as knowing i'd better not stray cos i'll get caught out far too easily. :mrgreen:

and she earns more than me. :queen: i'm not proud. :D
increasing doubt, decreasing hope, even my imaginary friend went and changed his mind.

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Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Mon Jan 22, 2018 8:12 pm

Me: Bastard 20 minute wait for a bus. May as well walk it.
Her: Perfect. The Pie’ll next ready for when you get home.

How’s about you offer to pick me up ya daft apeth?

:roll:
I like it. What is it?


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