Because wives

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Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: Because wives

Postby Andymac-47 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:53 pm

moscowhite wrote:
Earlier, in a statement issued through the Irish Football Association, Corry Evans said: “On behalf of my wife, I would like to apologise unreservedly for the content and language contained in the Tweet that she issued last night. The comments were published in the heat of the moment and are not representative of her views.”


Of course, he'll be told exactly whose fault this was when he gets home.


Her comment are extremely mild compared to what I have heard around these parts today.
Andymac

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sat Nov 11, 2017 12:03 pm

I have a black Keep Cup, and Mrs O has a white one (the reusable coffee things).

Mrs O steals mine, because hers is apparently not as nice to drink out of.

I was at a client’s and I saw they were selling them for charity; exactly the same design as my black one, but green. I bought her one.

Apparently one does not drink coffee from a green cup.

I have a green Keep Cup, and Mrs O has a black one.

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Sat Nov 11, 2017 12:19 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:I have a black Keep Cup, and Mrs O has a white one (the reusable coffee things).

Mrs O steals mine, because hers is apparently not as nice to drink out of.

I was at a client’s and I saw they were selling them for charity; exactly the same design as my black one, but green. I bought her one.

Apparently one does not drink coffee from a green cup.

I have a green Keep Cup, and Mrs O has a black one.

Fucking fashionista, serves you right :mrgreen:

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sat Nov 11, 2017 12:39 pm

Just saving the planet m8

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Sat Nov 11, 2017 1:13 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:Just saving the planet m8

Not you, you cunt, her!
"I can't possibly be seen saving the world with a green cup!"

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FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
Location: Hanging Out The Back Of Winona Ryder

Re: Because wives

Postby FER » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:37 pm

Yesterday morning, me & the missus were discussing our busy Sunday. Well, she was saying what needed to be done and I was nodding. She muttered that she couldn't be bothered doing 'the things that needed doing'. At one point, I got up and started 'getting things done'. She asks "What's wrong?" (I know, I know, never answer this question!). Eventually, she made me answer and it was along the lines of "Well, if we're so busy, why are we still sat on our arses not actually doing anything." She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day, fuck knows why!
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
Location: The dancefloor

Re: Because wives

Postby Man Called Sun » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:51 pm

FER wrote:She asks "What's wrong?" (I know, I know, never answer this question!). Eventually, she made me answer and it was along the lines of "Well, if we're so busy, why are we still sat on our arses not actually doing anything." She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day, fuck knows why!

u ok hun?
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:22 pm

tonight there's an organised evening out for dads in my son's school class. these dads are i suppose a regular bunch of people, we first met each mostly other well into our thirties, all have, y'know, jobs, kids, wives, other friends & family etc to worry about so we're not super close as a group, not like constantly whatsapp-ing each other lolz 24-7 or whatever, but get on ok, y'know, it seems a sensible, fairly pleasant, thing to do every once in a while given that we're neighbours, our kids will be there for another five plus years, etc.

wife's attitude towards this is a tough nut to crack.

if i don't go, i'm an antisocial twat, shaming her in front of the other wives; but
if i go, i'm an inconsiderate twat, going out getting pissed without her whilst she twiddles her thumbs alone.

solution?

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:25 pm

the flying pig wrote:tonight there's an organised evening out for dads in my son's school class. these dads are i suppose a regular bunch of people, we first met each mostly other well into our thirties, all have, y'know, jobs, kids, wives, other friends & family etc to worry about so we're not super close as a group, not like constantly whatsapp-ing each other lolz 24-7 or whatever, but get on ok, y'know, it seems a sensible, fairly pleasant, thing to do every once in a while given that we're neighbours, our kids will be there for another five plus years, etc.

wife's attitude towards this is a tough nut to crack.

if i don't go, i'm an antisocial twat, shaming her in front of the other wives; but
if i go, i'm an inconsiderate twat, going out getting pissed without her whilst she twiddles her thumbs alone.

solution?



Never get married or have a girlfriend or speak to a woman again. They all do this for a long period. Then they edge across to wanting you out of the house at every opportunity for a bit of peace and quiet. I'm nearer the second than the first stage at the moment, I think.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:26 pm

As if there’s actually a solution.

Maybe start with ‘Well I’ll just show my face for a bit’

Then when you come in at 4am arseholed and £300 down from the casino, go with ‘Well I couldn’t be the first to leave’?

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:30 pm

Seems you're a twat either way, so just go. At least you'll be a twat that had a good time. If you stay in she'll make your life hell - 0h, and take the au pair with you!

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:42 pm

Tycipa wrote:Seems you're a twat either way, so just go. At least you'll be a twat that had a good time. If you stay in she'll make your life hell - 0h, and take the au pair with you!


Seems about right to me.

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:51 pm

the flying pig wrote:tonight there's an organised evening out for dads in my son's school class. these dads are i suppose a regular bunch of people, we first met each mostly other well into our thirties, all have, y'know, jobs, kids, wives, other friends & family etc to worry about so we're not super close as a group, not like constantly whatsapp-ing each other lolz 24-7 or whatever, but get on ok, y'know, it seems a sensible, fairly pleasant, thing to do every once in a while given that we're neighbours, our kids will be there for another five plus years, etc.

wife's attitude towards this is a tough nut to crack.

if i don't go, i'm an antisocial twat, shaming her in front of the other wives; but
if i go, i'm an inconsiderate twat, going out getting pissed without her whilst she twiddles her thumbs alone.

solution?


You're a cunt whatever you do. You might as well do what you want.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:19 pm

i suppose that, seriously, what i should do is join them but do it late, once the kids are completely ready for bed, go out but drink in strict moderation, then get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow am to do some tidying up, make breakfast for everyone, etc.

either that or get smashed & hope for the best, starting with a decent lie-in.

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:49 pm

Nah, fuck it, do the latter - prove to her you’re an untamable lion. Secretly she’ll fucking love you for it.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Dec 08, 2017 3:17 pm

Tycipa wrote:Nah, fuck it, do the latter - prove to her you’re an untamable lion. Secretly she’ll fucking love you for it.


Yes, it's exactly what he is.

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welshwhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby welshwhite » Fri Dec 08, 2017 3:38 pm

dirty leeds wrote:
Tycipa wrote:Nah, fuck it, do the latter - prove to her you’re an untamable lion. Secretly she’ll fucking love you for it.


Yes, it's exactly what he is.


You're not wrong there.

Go out and get blotto TFP, and make sure she's got the Ann Summers gear on for when you get home :thumbl:


They won the right to get a vote and all of a sudden they think they rule the fucking world :thumbd:

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Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:26 pm

Send her in your place? Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll leave you for one of them?

Oh no, wait. Hang on. You're not with Mrs Devi, are you?
I like it. What is it?

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Quiffy
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 6:56 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Quiffy » Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:40 pm

so all the other blokes with kids and wives are going out for a full evening and you're going to stay in for some of the evening for fear of your wife? they've set the precedent and you're towing a different line? :scratch:

this is the perfect chance to make your wife realise she's being unrealistic in her expectations.
increasing doubt, decreasing hope, even my imaginary friend went and changed his mind.

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Fri Dec 08, 2017 5:59 pm

dirty leeds wrote:
Tycipa wrote:Nah, fuck it, do the latter - prove to her you’re an untamable lion. Secretly she’ll fucking love you for it.


Yes, it's exactly what he is.

If the internet thinks it’s right then you must be wrong. Write? :study:


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