Because wives

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Aug 22, 2017 4:35 pm

dirty leeds wrote:
Devi wrote:Our dog is ill, taking jet propelled liquid shits and vomiting like her master after a particularly long night.

Rice and boiled chicken only, say I.

Just one more treat, says the wife.

And who's fault is it the dog just pebble dashed the pavement again?

For. Fucks. Sake.



Perhaps watching the dog have a liquid shite was her treat?

:puker:








:puker:
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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topbin
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: Because wives

Postby topbin » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:45 am

Mustafaster wrote:Señora Musta just got back from El Corte Ingles with a dozen of these.

Hooray.


Oh god, the greatest beer of all time...

Totally baffling how this is priced. In Beer Ritz, this is circa £8/9 a bottle.

Find it in the supermarket in France - €2.

Seasonal outputs of it though, I understand, so most of the time when I head back there's none left (probably because selfish people like Mrs Musta take 'em all when they're there).

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:32 am

topbin wrote:
Mustafaster wrote:Señora Musta just got back from El Corte Ingles with a dozen of these.

Hooray.


Oh god, the greatest beer of all time...

Totally baffling how this is priced. In Beer Ritz, this is circa £8/9 a bottle.

Find it in the supermarket in France - €2.

Seasonal outputs of it though, I understand, so most of the time when I head back there's none left (probably because selfish people like Mrs Musta take 'em all when they're there).


https://belgiuminabox.com/shop/full-cra ... Z_uk6nRbqA

Yup, probably is the greatest of all time, amazing stuff. It's about 1.80 a bottle here, when you can find it, which isn't very often.
You have to get the temperature right to do it justice.
It needs to be cold, but not too cold. Couple of hours in the fridge, but no more.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:47 am

Mustafaster wrote:... [duvel] You have to get the temperature right to do it justice.
It needs to be cold, but not too cold. Couple of hours in the fridge, but no more.


yeah, i dunno. i personally think that ice cold room temperature, and lightly chilled all bring out something a little different from it & are all worth trying :thumbl:

agree tho that it's a great beer :thumbl: .

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Sat Sep 02, 2017 10:12 am

Wimmin..GRRR!!!!
They can start a war over fuck all. One is reminded of the war between Lilliput and Blefescu at times.
This time literally.
Dunno if it's just mine that's faulty or if it's a general design flaw and they all need a general recall anyroad, permit me to share the latest escalation of conflict...

Musta has a nice relaxed Saturday morning, nowt pressing so decides to make mayonnaise to go with lunch. Musta makes very good mayonnaise, everyone agrees on that. Good olive oil, fresh eggs, vinegar and lemon juice from our own lemons, a touch of garlic and mustard, pinch of salt. Yum yum.
Better than Hellman's, everyone agrees bigly.

So Musta is separating the eggs. He has a brilliant trick for doing this which involves a water bottle.


Señora Musta goes into overdrive.
THAT IS NOT THE WAY YOU SEPARATE EGG YOLKS!

Might not be the way you do it, light of my life, but I've been doing this forever, it's just the first time you've been present to see it.

To no avail. Full on rant.... about the best way to separate egg yolks! Not talking to me now. :mrgreen:
Remains to be seen if she's gonna eat the mayonnaise... Might have called the dogs off by then.

Have I got a faulty model or are they all like this!
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Sat Sep 02, 2017 10:22 am

The nearest my model gets is to express amusement at the unknown method, potentially silently adopting it later if superior to her method when tried in private. Only pointing this out too hard or in company brings potential difficulty.


She's a scientist and the above is perfectly normal work behaviour, if this helps. Is your model ex-military combat-oriented, by any chance?
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:36 pm

I'm assuming you and your wife are of a similar vintage, so it might just be that she's going through the 'change'. If she is then you have absolutely no chance of avoiding such further irrational outbursts for say the next five or six years. Enjoy.

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:56 pm

Tycipa wrote:I'm assuming you and your wife are of a similar vintage, so it might just be that she's going through the 'change'. If she is then you have absolutely no chance of avoiding such further irrational outbursts for say the next five or six years. Enjoy.

You'll all be delighted to hear that the mayo had too much olive oil, hence it being on the bitter side.
Aye.

She's taken the dogs to the beach for solace leaving me with the rest of a bottle of Rias Baixas.

Spain v Italy tonight in an enthralling must-win encounter between two of Europe's most attractive teams ...

My fault.
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Middlesbrough

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:55 pm

This evening we're sat in front of the TV. Me in shorts and a vest. Her in winter pyjamas, dressing gown under a blanket.

It's freezing she says.

It begins............

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:45 am

Variation I get is that Mrs DL sits about in shorts and a t-shirt when the temperatures drop and then wonders why she's so cold. Put a jumper on, woman. Maybe some trousers.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Wed Oct 04, 2017 7:56 pm

I'm working at home today so I'm on cooking dinner. I text Lady O to see when she's in. She's working late and tells me what time train she's in on. Right I say, being a lovely husband, I'll work out cooking so I can pick you up from the station (bearing in mind that it's not raining and we live ten minutes walk from the station, so really no need for me to offer at all). I'm cooking, she texts and says 'I'm here, can you pick me up now?'

'Eh?' I say, 'You're 15 minutes early.'

'Oh yeah, that wasn't the train time, didn't you check?''

'Well, I can't leave the cooking now'

Dear God, what a horrible inconsiderate cunt of a man I am. Goes without saying it wasn't what she wanted to eat and the potatoes were undercooked. Might as well just kill myself now.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Wed Oct 04, 2017 8:09 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:I'm working at home today so I'm on cooking dinner. I text Lady O to see when she's in. She's working late and tells me what time train she's in on. Right I say, being a lovely husband, I'll work out cooking so I can pick you up from the station (bearing in mind that it's not raining and we live ten minutes walk from the station, so really no need for me to offer at all). I'm cooking, she texts and says 'I'm here, can you pick me up now?'

'Eh?' I say, 'You're 15 minutes early.'

'Oh yeah, that wasn't the train time, didn't you check?''

'Well, I can't leave the cooking now'

Dear God, what a horrible inconsiderate cunt of a man I am. Goes without saying it wasn't what she wanted to eat and the potatoes were undercooked. Might as well just kill myself now.



Now you know how shit Amber Rudd feels after Eddie had his grill out. :mrgreen:

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Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Thu Oct 12, 2017 3:43 pm

I like it. What is it?

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:06 pm

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Because wives

Postby Blackwhite » Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:54 pm

This doesn't really belong here, but hey.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Thu Nov 09, 2017 8:59 am

Blackwhite wrote:This doesn't really belong here, but hey.


The woman had unlocked her husband’s phone using his thumb impression when he was sleeping


:lol:

Well, look, I suppose she could have just cut his thumb off.

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Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:41 am

If we're talking things she could've cut off, I reckon he got away lightly.
I like it. What is it?

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moscowhite
Joined: Thu Apr 30, 2009 5:47 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby moscowhite » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:01 pm

Earlier, in a statement issued through the Irish Football Association, Corry Evans said: “On behalf of my wife, I would like to apologise unreservedly for the content and language contained in the Tweet that she issued last night. The comments were published in the heat of the moment and are not representative of her views.”


Of course, he'll be told exactly whose fault this was when he gets home.
'If you give Leeds the ball, they will make you dance.' - Johan Cruyff

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:24 pm

moscowhite wrote:
Earlier, in a statement issued through the Irish Football Association, Corry Evans said: “On behalf of my wife, I would like to apologise unreservedly for the content and language contained in the Tweet that she issued last night. The comments were published in the heat of the moment and are not representative of her views.”


Of course, he'll be told exactly whose fault this was when he gets home.

That’s a cracking tweet, gets its point across very well.

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Phil LUFC
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:26 pm
Location: Scunthorpe

Re: Because wives

Postby Phil LUFC » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:34 pm

Tycipa wrote:
moscowhite wrote:
Earlier, in a statement issued through the Irish Football Association, Corry Evans said: “On behalf of my wife, I would like to apologise unreservedly for the content and language contained in the Tweet that she issued last night. The comments were published in the heat of the moment and are not representative of her views.”


Of course, he'll be told exactly whose fault this was when he gets home.

That’s a cracking tweet, gets its point across very well.

Indeed!!

In case the Guardian drop the tweet from their article: “Romanian gypsy cunt!!! And to actually think Northern Ireland has probably homed one of his smelly relatives!! Ungrateful twat!! Anyway onwards and upwards. #GAWA”. Evans shouldn't be apologising for that, he should be rolling on the floor laughing.


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