Because wives

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Sun May 18, 2014 6:47 pm

I don't know where to to start....they have this ability to just hit that spot, the spot, that no one else can get to. Why oh fucking why? I will love, honour and obey and will exasperate you until the day we both shall die.

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
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Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Mon May 19, 2014 1:20 pm

Have had my fair share of that feeling this year :mrgreen: I have been accused of listening in the wrong way and once even for agreeing in the wrong way. The complete lack of logic in any argument is staggering. Bottom line is just accepting you are wrong whatever the reality of the situation is and living with it
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Mon May 19, 2014 2:06 pm

yeah, could be an interesting thread.

my own wife is regrettably a bit mental [OCD-ish] but most of the stuff she comes out with is fairly standard wife fayre.

e.g. if something in the house has been misplaced [say a set of keys, a tv controller, whatever] she will unfailingly, and i mean completely unfailingly, swear blind that i was the last person to have it, that the loss is my fault, & that i need to find it right away. if the item turns up say in one of her pockets or something like that she'll maybe grudglingly, as a special favour to me, accept that we were about equally to blame, but any less clear cut case than that & i'm toast until the item gets found.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Mon May 19, 2014 2:08 pm

It's taken a while but at last the disloyalty is beginning to seep through... :mrgreen:

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Dale White
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:57 pm
Location: Rochdale

Re: Because wives

Postby Dale White » Mon May 19, 2014 2:17 pm

My missus has that annoying thing of denying I asked her to get me summat when she was shopping, even if I have the lad as a witness, fucking baffling creatures they are.
FUCK OFF BATES !!!

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welshwhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby welshwhite » Mon May 19, 2014 2:20 pm

My wife left me four days ago.

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
Location: The dancefloor

Re: Because wives

Postby Man Called Sun » Mon May 19, 2014 2:37 pm

My wife is fucking mega.
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Mon May 19, 2014 2:43 pm

Man Called Sun wrote:My wife is fucking mega.


yeah, and i bet your mum used to cook you chips for tea every night :pig:.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Mon May 19, 2014 2:45 pm

welshwhite wrote:My wife left me four days ago.



Erm... because, well, internet, I can't tell if you're taking the piss. Want to tell us more?

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Mon May 19, 2014 2:50 pm

Man Called Sun wrote:My wife is fucking mega.


Yeah, mine's alright. The more I see of people my age's relationships, the more I realise I just got dead lucky really. Think I've mentioned before on here that our first conversation was asking each other's names, pretty much, when I woke up in her bed one morning. Alcohol - can't beat it :clown:

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
Location: The dancefloor

Re: Because wives

Postby Man Called Sun » Mon May 19, 2014 2:52 pm

the flying pig wrote:
Man Called Sun wrote:My wife is fucking mega.


yeah, and i bet your mum used to cook you chips for tea every night :pig:.

Well yeah, in all seriousness, its not like a mothering relationship where she does everything for me etc (and I've seen that, its debilitating).

She's just bloody wonderful. She isn't a head case, we seldom argue, she respects me and my crackpot ideas even though I'm a complete cunt, she's just proper ace. I wouldn't have married her otherwise.
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Middlesbrough

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Mon May 19, 2014 3:04 pm

Man Called Sun wrote:
the flying pig wrote:
Man Called Sun wrote:My wife is fucking mega.


yeah, and i bet your mum used to cook you chips for tea every night :pig:.

Well yeah, in all seriousness, its not like a mothering relationship where she does everything for me etc (and I've seen that, its debilitating).

She's just bloody wonderful. She isn't a head case, we seldom argue, she respects me and my crackpot ideas even though I'm a complete cunt, she's just proper ace. I wouldn't have married her otherwise.


It sounds like you are the wife in the relationship.

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Mustafaster
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:02 am
Location: PC Brigade House.

Re: Because wives

Postby Mustafaster » Mon May 19, 2014 3:07 pm

So, I gets home at lunchtime, 15 minutes harangue about everything I do wrong (what I eat, what I drink, what I wear, my mental health .. you know, little stuff) and she fucks off out to take the dogs for a run on the beach ..... I got about half a sentence out ... :salute:
Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.

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welshwhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby welshwhite » Mon May 19, 2014 3:10 pm

dirty leeds wrote:
welshwhite wrote:My wife left me four days ago.



Erm... because, well, internet, I can't tell if you're taking the piss. Want to tell us more?


It was totally out of the blue, she has changed for the worse since she joined the women's dart team down the local pub, she has now moved in with a butch woman darter ' a known lesbian' and she has not been home or in contact with me since their darts game on Thursday night.

If she had left me for another man I could have understood that, I love her with all of my heart and just want her back

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Phil LUFC
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:26 pm
Location: Scunthorpe

Re: Because wives

Postby Phil LUFC » Mon May 19, 2014 3:11 pm

welshwhite wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:
welshwhite wrote:My wife left me four days ago.



Erm... because, well, internet, I can't tell if you're taking the piss. Want to tell us more?


It was totally out of the blue, she has changed for the worse since she joined the women's dart team down the local pub, she has now moved in with a butch woman darter ' a known lesbian' and she has not been home or in contact with me since their darts game on Thursday night.

If she had left me for another man I could have understood that, I love her with all of my heart and just want her back

Is her name Linda?

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Mon May 19, 2014 3:12 pm

welshwhite wrote:
dirty leeds wrote:
welshwhite wrote:My wife left me four days ago.



Erm... because, well, internet, I can't tell if you're taking the piss. Want to tell us more?


It was totally out of the blue, she has changed for the worse since she joined the women's dart team down the local pub, she has now moved in with a butch woman darter ' a known lesbian' and she has not been home or in contact with me since their darts game on Thursday night.

If she had left me for another man I could have understood that, I love her with all of my heart and just want her back


I know, and now you just want to watch.

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
Location: The dancefloor

Re: Because wives

Postby Man Called Sun » Mon May 19, 2014 3:16 pm

Mustafaster wrote:So, I gets home at lunchtime, 15 minutes harangue about everything I do wrong (what I eat, what I drink, what I wear, my mental health .. you know, little stuff) and she fucks off out to take the dogs for a run on the beach ..... I got about half a sentence out ... :salute:

To be fair, she's got a point.
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Middlesbrough

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Mon May 19, 2014 3:17 pm

Phil LUFC wrote:
welshwhite wrote:It was totally out of the blue, she has changed for the worse since she joined the women's dart team down the local pub, she has now moved in with a butch woman darter ' a known lesbian' and she has not been home or in contact with me since their darts game on Thursday night.

If she had left me for another man I could have understood that, I love her with all of my heart and just want her back

Is her name Linda?


She left him because he started insisting she call him Linda and then he started asking random men in the street if they were married.

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ddwhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:52 am
Location: DD

Re: Because wives

Postby ddwhite » Mon May 19, 2014 3:47 pm

No. 2 definitely better than No. 1
infinitely more mental and life is far harder, but we get to proper lake about not all that radio 2 dinner party bollocks
jeez this could be thread of the year
Here we go..

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Tycipa
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:39 pm

Re: Because wives

Postby Tycipa » Mon May 19, 2014 3:54 pm

For a while I thought my daughter was going to turn out like the Mrs - fortunately she's turning out alright


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