Because wives

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Middlesbrough

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:38 pm

Andymac-47 wrote:
Ponte wrote:
AndyPaul wrote:The wife turns round to me last night and says “there’s too many cushions on this sofa I’m going to get rid of some”

What the fuck! I’m scared, is this the start of the apocalypse?


Don't worry, she'll expensively replace them.


and the sofa when it doesn't match the cushions..... :(


Funnily enough we’ve had this conversation and instead of changing the sofa we’ve recently redecorated the whole fucking room

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AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Middlesbrough

Re: Because wives

Postby AndyPaul » Sat Dec 15, 2018 9:18 pm

The wife was tidying the spare room. She has a box where she keeps sentimental stuff such as cards from me. She was looking through it and happened to notice unbeknown to me that I have sent her the same anniversary card 3 years in a row. Luckily she’s been laughing about it, well at the moment she is anyway!

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Sat Jan 19, 2019 12:36 pm

That thing about the menopause and hot flushes at night.

Quite handy really, this time of year. Saves me getting a hot water bottle out.

Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: Because wives

Postby Andymac-47 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:38 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:That thing about the menopause and hot flushes at night.

Quite handy really, this time of year. Saves me getting a hot water bottle out.


This. Mine will happily rip me a new one for looking at her incorrectly, and be laughing her ass off the very next minute whilst talking on the phone to one of her equally menopaused up sisters/friends... :(
Andymac

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
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Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:55 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:That thing about the menopause and hot flushes at night.

Quite handy really, this time of year. Saves me getting a hot water bottle out.


I have to try and sleep in a sub-zero bedroom whilst my wife (saying its as she has hot flushes) is rolled up in the duvet. So to at least be warm when getting dressed I put the thermostat up in the bathroom. Got a lecture this morning about how much this costs :(
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Because wives

Postby the flying pig » Thu Jan 24, 2019 12:58 pm

minor emergency - wife's birthday is on monday & i've got nothing, put no thought in, nothing. any ideas? not looking to push the boat out financially.

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metalsmurf
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:08 am
Location: Littleborough, Gtr Scumland

Re: Because wives

Postby metalsmurf » Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:11 pm

Dunno if it will help but I got fucking roasted for not making it 'an occasion'. She wasn't too bothered abot the last minute lame prezzie, it was the fact that I didn't put any effort into banners/balloons etc.(It was her 50th)
Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish.

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Rambo the randy pig
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:24 am
Location: Makin bacon

Re: Because wives

Postby Rambo the randy pig » Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:17 pm

the flying pig wrote:minor emergency - wife's birthday is on monday & i've got nothing, put no thought in, nothing. any ideas? not looking to push the boat out financially.


Health spa gift voucher always goes down well

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Ponte
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Between a rock and a hard place.

Re: Because wives

Postby Ponte » Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:49 pm

the flying pig wrote:minor emergency - wife's birthday is on monday & i've got nothing, put no thought in, nothing. any ideas? not looking to push the boat out financially.

May be my memory playing tricks but you seem to post this or similar anually.
You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-orientated material. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned.
Hmmm.

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Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Because wives

Postby Devi » Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:03 pm

Ponte wrote:
the flying pig wrote:minor emergency - wife's birthday is on monday & i've got nothing, put no thought in, nothing. any ideas? not looking to push the boat out financially.

May be my memory playing tricks but you seem to post this or similar anually.


Get her what you got her last year?
I like it. What is it?

Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: Because wives

Postby Andymac-47 » Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:23 pm

I have to make an effort, Mrs Andymac born on Valentines day, one good thing is that she will not go out for a meal on that date as she will not mingle with all the fucktards that get sucked with the Valentines thingy.
Andymac

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Ontolly
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 pm
Location: Shrewsbury

Re: Because wives

Postby Ontolly » Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:23 pm

Rambo the randy pig wrote:
the flying pig wrote:minor emergency - wife's birthday is on monday & i've got nothing, put no thought in, nothing. any ideas? not looking to push the boat out financially.


Health spa gift voucher always goes down well


The opposite of an ironing board cover?
The only thing we knew for sure about Henry Porter was that his name wasn't Henry Porter.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Because wives

Postby dirty leeds » Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:34 pm

Andymac-47 wrote:I have to make an effort, Mrs Andymac born on Valentines day, one good thing is that she will not go out for a meal on that date as she will not mingle with all the fucktards that get sucked with the Valentines thingy.


Never been a worry for me, tbh.

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
Contact:

Re: Because wives

Postby SimonB » Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:54 pm

Andymac-47 wrote:I have to make an effort, Mrs Andymac born on Valentines day, one good thing is that she will not go out for a meal on that date as she will not mingle with all the fucktards that get sucked with the Valentines thingy.


I have our wedding anniversary on the 2nd of Feb, her birthday on the 5th of Feb, the anniversary of our first meeting on the 9th of Feb and Valentines on the 14th of Feb.

So for the 2nd I am in Leeds all day and the 9th I am in Middlesbrough all day and just to rub it in on the 14th I will travel back from Leeds with a stonking hangover. Its going to go swimmingly......
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Because wives

Postby eric olthwaite » Thu Jan 24, 2019 5:44 pm

the flying pig wrote:minor emergency - wife's birthday is on monday & i've got nothing, put no thought in, nothing. any ideas? not looking to push the boat out financially.


Starting travelling today, set up some restrictions on joint bank accounts etc. You should be far enough away and safe by Monday

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FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
Location: Hanging Out The Back Of Winona Ryder

Re: Because wives

Postby FER » Fri Jan 25, 2019 12:46 pm

SimonB wrote:
Andymac-47 wrote:I have to make an effort, Mrs Andymac born on Valentines day, one good thing is that she will not go out for a meal on that date as she will not mingle with all the fucktards that get sucked with the Valentines thingy.


I have our wedding anniversary on the 2nd of Feb, her birthday on the 5th of Feb, the anniversary of our first meeting on the 9th of Feb and Valentines on the 14th of Feb.


It's our 'anniversary' on 14/2. She's told me she wants something decent this year. I have no clue what to get. Meh. Also, I'm going to the Swansea match (see you there, Si) on the night of 13/2 for my mate's birthday (note to self, book the day after off) so I'm not sure what she wants from me anyway!
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

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Ontolly
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 pm
Location: Shrewsbury

Re: Because wives

Postby Ontolly » Fri Jan 25, 2019 2:07 pm

FER wrote:I'm not sure what she wants from me anyway!


My money is on whatever it is she ain't gonna get it :salute:
The only thing we knew for sure about Henry Porter was that his name wasn't Henry Porter.


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