Absolute cunts thread...

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OWETB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Eating pig with the Prophet Mohammed

Absolute cunts thread...

Postby OWETB » Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:46 pm

We have the stupid cunts thread, which in the main is a light hearted poke at the likes of Musta & SimonB.

But following an email I got from the office this morning with a request to assist a client I'm starting this fucker.

The email contained the following...

Employee is a XXXXXXXXXXXXX has been an employee for 2 months. He is a Door to Door Sales Agent and had an accident whilst out selling. He was at a block of flats and held onto the handrail where there was a needle strapped to the underside of it and he stabbed his hand on it. He has been to hospital and been put on tablets (Kaletra) for 28 days that are anti HIV tablets.


What sort of absolute cunt would do summat like that?

The poor fella now has to take these tablets which have pretty severe side effects, have no intimate contact with his wife and have the worry/ distress caused by some utter fucking cunt being an utter fucking cunt.

I am still trying to establish some facts but this guy must be going through a personal hell at the moment.

MasonCooper42
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2012 3:49 pm
Location: Peterborough/Nottingham

Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby MasonCooper42 » Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:35 pm

he makes bates look like mother fucking teresa.

i hope he rots, the guy who put the needle there!

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:37 pm

Sad to say, HIV is not the end of his problems. Hepatitis will also be in his virology investigations.

Hope all's clear for the guy, obviously. Hopefully just some cunt of a kid.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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thechubbyone
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:18 am

Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby thechubbyone » Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:45 pm

MasonCooper42 wrote:he makes bates look like mother fucking teresa.

She was quite a cunt too. Read some of the stuff Christopher Hitchens has to say about her.

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jackos
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:49 am
Location: Stockholm

Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby jackos » Tue Mar 18, 2014 5:22 pm

We've had stuff like that over here, had a few occurrences of "people" putting Iron spikes into lakes by diving board and Jetties in the winter as a nice little surprise for folks who dive into the water come spring. And a few years ago someone had put razor blades down the sides of a slide in a water park in the centre of Stockholm, just for fun like .....

Some right monsters out there, trick or treat ..

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FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby FER » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:49 pm

OWETB wrote:
Employee is a XXXXXXXXXXXXX has been an employee for 2 months. He is a Door to Door Sales Agent and had an accident whilst out selling. He was at a block of flats and held onto the handrail where there was a needle strapped to the underside of it and he stabbed his hand on it. He has been to hospital and been put on tablets (Kaletra) for 28 days that are anti HIV tablets.


What sort of absolute cunt would do summat like that?


It's more common than you might think. One of the first things I was told on site at a tower block was "don't use the handrails", for this exact reason and it's advice I've passed on many times myself. There are, as you say, some absolute cunts out there!
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

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Oheddieeddie
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Oheddieeddie » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:30 pm

When you started this thread I thought it sounded like some sort of compensation scam, but reading the responses this actually happens? :shock:

Why would somebody leave the needle there? Is it deliberately hurt someone then or just so their drug paraphernalia is not in the premises if plod calls or what?

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby eric olthwaite » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:46 pm

I was recently told by a contractor about a building site where someone had been taping razor blades inside the newspapers left in the site canteen in such a way that anyone who picked the paper up to read it would slice their fingers. They eventually found out who it was; just some random worker with a grudge against the world.

Also remember reading a story some years back - can't remember where it was - where a bloke had used chewing gum to fix razor blades at the bottom of the waterslide tube at a couple of local leisure centre pools. Fucked up.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Blackwhite » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:06 pm

Oheddieeddie wrote:When you started this thread I thought it sounded like some sort of compensation scam, but reading the responses this actually happens? :shock:

Why would somebody leave the needle there? Is it deliberately hurt someone then or just so their drug paraphernalia is not in the premises if plod calls or what?

To injure, terrorise or infect.

That's the NYPD mission statement as well, innit?
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Man Called Sun
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Man Called Sun » Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:44 am

Is there a letting agency out there that isn't staffed, from top to bottom, by incompetent cunts?
Cos if there is I've yet to fucking find it.
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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Ponte
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Ponte » Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:32 am

Man Called Sun wrote:Is there a letting agency out there that isn't staffed, from top to bottom, by incompetent cunts?
Cos if there is I've yet to fucking find it.

No. Some are less shit than others but on the whole they are all idiots.
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Hmmm.

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Blackwhite
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:36 am

Ponte wrote:
Man Called Sun wrote:Is there a letting agency out there that isn't staffed, from top to bottom, by incompetent cunts?
Cos if there is I've yet to fucking find it.

No. Some are less shit than others but on the whole they are all idiots.

One near us when we were last renting wanted 300 notes up front before they'd even start showing us properties. They got £300 worth of Fuck Off.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Ponte
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Ponte » Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:44 am

Blackwhite wrote:
Ponte wrote:
Man Called Sun wrote:Is there a letting agency out there that isn't staffed, from top to bottom, by incompetent cunts?
Cos if there is I've yet to fucking find it.

No. Some are less shit than others but on the whole they are all idiots.

One near us when we were last renting wanted 300 notes up front before they'd even start showing us properties. They got £300 worth of Fuck Off.

Charges I've seen round here vary from £100 (per fucking applicant of course) to £300.00 each, this just for the application then some of the cunts stick admin charges on top and then another charge to renew the lease each time.
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Hmmm.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:07 pm

Don't encourage the cunts by paying any fee of any kind. Just drop notes through the door of houses with To Let signs on them.

Parasitic worms.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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MightyWhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:38 am
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby MightyWhite » Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:14 pm

Stories I hear about letting agents makes me glad the majority of my wages are being spent on a mortgage
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Blackwhite
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:40 pm

Should also add in support of mighty's point, ALL the renting hassles I've ever had were with rents handled by an agency.

I can also advise on the efficacy (to resolve an impasse in conflict resolution meetings) of gazing at the agent's lovely new BMW outside, saying "that's your car out there, isn't it?" and smiling silently at them while picturing a raging fire. I swear they can see the flames in your eyes.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby eric olthwaite » Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:17 pm

Ponte wrote: then another charge to renew the lease each time.


Someone tried that with a work colleague of mine. By return, she billed them for her time in signing the lease renewal. They gave up, in the end :lol:

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thechubbyone
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:18 am

Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby thechubbyone » Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:02 pm

Aye, they're robbing cunts. A girl I work with was moving between 2 properties in the same building, with the same agent and they wanted to charge her a fortune for "reference checks" and other assorted administrative bollocks. Apparently the fact she'd been paying rent on time to them and living in their property without damaging it for 2 years wasn't enough of a reference. :scratch:

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Man Called Sun
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:26 am
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Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Man Called Sun » Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:29 pm

The reason I mention these absolute bastards is because I've had a month-long dispute with ours.
To be brief, we renewed our contract (with the attendant £120 + VAT 'admin fee') at the end of Feb. We received an eviction notice 4 days later. This was because no one had told the landlord we'd renewed so he instructed the agents (different dept, of course) to boot us out as our contract had ended.

This being an obvious paperwork/communication fuck up on their part, I called them and explained the error of their ways. They said it was fine and they just needed confirmation in writing from the landlord so that it's all recorded and cool. Which is fine, says I.

When it got to 3 weeks of radio silence after the occasional gentle reminder from me, I absoluetly lost my shit with them last week when they informed me that they had only emailed the landlord once since my first call. And they hadn't had a reply. I have since been having a daily Tucker-esqe yelling session with a different incompetent fuckwit desk jockey for each day of the past week.

My wife is 7 months pregnant and we have spent the past month with an eviction notice over our heads. After another bout of shouty swearing that I had to apologise to the office next door about this morning, and another even shoutier and swearier email, I have today received this email:

Dear Mr Sun,

Further to our recent letter enclosing a notice for possession, we can now confirm that your Landlord has agreed that you may remain at the above property.

In the circumstances, your tenancy will continue under the same terms and conditions.

Yours sincerely

Terminations Team

Lettings Support Centre


And that's it. No apologies, nothing. I'm in very real danger of going all Bateman on them.
Float like a butterfly and sting like one.

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Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Absolute cunts thread...

Postby Blackwhite » Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:06 pm

Oh that's a car-burning, right there...
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.


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