Grumpy Old Man Thread

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
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Gastarbeiter
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:54 am
Location: Shanghai

Postby Gastarbeiter » Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:04 am

ARDS wrote:Cunts from spain sending me lottery stuff telling me I've won and they NEED my bank details to pay the money into .

Is it me ?

Or is their people out there who would reply with details !

:shock:

I've got some great tips for the nags :)

Can't lose

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
Location: Peterborough
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Postby SimonB » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:26 am

ARDS wrote:Cunts from spain sending me lottery stuff telling me I've won and they NEED my bank details to pay the money into .

Is it me ?

Or is their people out there who would reply with details !

:shock:
I remember a news story where someone had been convinced to pay over £8000 to cover the costs of sending the lottery win to them, unbeleivable how thick some people can be
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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OWETB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Eating pig with the Prophet Mohammed

Postby OWETB » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:40 pm

SimonB wrote:I remember a news story where someone had been convinced to pay over £8000 to cover the costs of sending the lottery win to them, unbeleivable how thick some people can be


You promised that you would never mention that.

Although it is in the same mould as yebo buying a car from Portugal :lol:

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SimonB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:54 am
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Postby SimonB » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:41 pm

B@stard wrote:Although it is in the same mould as yebo buying a car from Portugal :lol:
:D never worked out if that was just a wind up or whether he really did fall for it
We had a meeting at work today and I was asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire. Apparently "fucking big ones" wasn't the right answer

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Templar White
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:05 am
Location: Leeds

Postby Templar White » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:20 pm

Drivers who need a written invitation to turn right from a junction. There's a gap of at least a foot, put your bloody nose out.

Twats who will not move from lane 1 when you are trying to get up the slip road and theres fuck all in the other lanes . Move bloody over!

Buying my sandwich and pinta milk from the co-op along with others doing the same when king hearted Ron pulls out a pile of 46 dog-eared lottery tickets he's collected for all the pensioners, half the fuckers don't go through the machine so they have to put them in manually and he has to pay for everyone individually. Go when it's quiet prat or better still do it on line.

While on the subject. People who win the lottery/pools and then go back to work after a little cruise 'something I always wanted to do' and give it away to their grandchildren. FFS why do they do it? Don't they know that it should be used for loose women, Inn-keepers and BMW dealers.

Lastlly and this happens to me several times a week, Tele-sales that can't speak English. Usually it's when you are busy or going for lunch and you just know when that phone goes that it's some asian/african/scot going to launch into some sort of insane sales speil. What the fuck? Anybody,ANYBODY wanting to sell shit you think would consider hiring someone you could speak the language.

Dale White

Postby Dale White » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:21 pm

Fucking dog owners that let their dogs shit on the street,cunts want shooting. :twisted:

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knobhead
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:47 pm

Postby knobhead » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:20 pm

Dale White wrote:Fucking dog owners that let their dogs shit on the street,cunts want shooting. :twisted:

This is so much in my main life that I want to kiss you for being so DISGUSTED as I am when I have the same problem. Look out for a thread soon. I will and us together we will find a way of killing people who let dogs shit on pavements!

Perseus
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:50 pm
Location: Pro silver land

Postby Perseus » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:33 pm

knobhead wrote:
Dale White wrote:Fucking dog owners that let their dogs shit on the street,cunts want shooting. :twisted:

This is so much in my main life that I want to kiss you for being so DISGUSTED as I am when I have the same problem. Look out for a thread soon. I will and us together we will find a way of killing people who let dogs shit on pavements!


Shit on the pavements? You lucky bastards as they let their dogs shit on my front grass. One of these days I'll catch a fucker letting his dog do it though.........what a hoot that will be.

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Sniffers Hankie
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:13 pm
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Postby Sniffers Hankie » Sat Feb 23, 2008 6:52 am

[quote="Dale White"]Fucking dog owners that let their dogs shit on the street,cunts want shooting. :twisted:[/quote]

[color=yellow]Dog owners who let their dogs shit on our local public playing fields, I have to clear it up every fucking saturday before my lads can play football.

People who slag of our troops like those cunts on Panorama.

Also the cunt at either HM Revenue & Customs or THe D.V.L.A who tookover two grand outta my bank account while my missus and I were on holiday. It had to be one of those two places cause thats the only time the debit card has been used well dont worry the old bill are on to you [/color] :D
THE BRITISH ARMY THEY are THE BEST

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Dale White

Postby Dale White » Sat Feb 23, 2008 10:16 am

Perseus wrote:
knobhead wrote:
Dale White wrote:Fucking dog owners that let their dogs shit on the street,cunts want shooting. :twisted:

This is so much in my main life that I want to kiss you for being so DISGUSTED as I am when I have the same problem. Look out for a thread soon. I will and us together we will find a way of killing people who let dogs shit on pavements!


Shit on the pavements? You lucky bastards as they let their dogs shit on my front grass. One of these days I'll catch a fucker letting his dog do it though.........what a hoot that will be.
Fucking cheeky bastards ! that would drive me nuts,i'd have to catch the cunts.

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Patrick-Hong Kong
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:31 pm
Location: Hong Kong

Postby Patrick-Hong Kong » Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:07 pm

People entering the block where I live. They see the door closing after someone has gone in but instead of holding it and then allowing me to take it, they jump through quickly to avoid touching it and let it crash into me when I'm carrying something heavy. Rude fuckers.

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OWETB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Eating pig with the Prophet Mohammed

Postby OWETB » Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:23 pm

Cunts who moan about my dog shitting in the street or in their gardens.

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Sniffers Hankie
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:13 pm
Location: Portland Dorset
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Postby Sniffers Hankie » Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:24 pm

[quote="Patrick-Hong Kong"]People entering the block where I live. They see the door closing after someone has gone in but instead of holding it and then allowing me to take it, they jump through quickly to avoid touching it and let it crash into me when I'm carrying something heavy. Rude fuckers.[/quote]


That's The Slopes for you mate they see things differently somthing todo with having slitty eyes mate



What about those cunts in Mercs , Volvo's and the like who do 20mph on all the roads and when they get to a dual carriageway the put their fuckin foot down do more than the speed limit and when they come off the slow down to 20 again CUNTS
THE BRITISH ARMY THEY are THE BEST

Support British Soldiers in the Field

IF YOU WONT GET BEHIND OUR TROOPS THEN FUCKING STAND IN FRONT OF THEM

Jovo Simanic
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:40 pm

Postby Jovo Simanic » Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:47 pm

The list is almost endless but in no particular order:

1. Fuckers who ride their bikes on the pavement. It's illegal. And if you're not a good enough cyclist to ride on the road, where the traffic follows some rules and the only person you're likely to hurt is yourself, what the fuck makes you think you're a good enough cyclist to ride on the pavement where people move randomly and you're likely to encounter old people, small children and really pissed off pedestrians who are frankly more likely to batter you to death with your bike pump than let you pass because you rang your little bell.

2. People that litter. Put it in a bin you anti-social cunts. Just because you and your millions of cockroach mates live in a rotting hovel doesn't mean we all have to plummet down to your level.

3. People who play music off of their mobile phones in a public place. Fine , you think R&B and people mumbling into a mic is great, but we'd all be able to recognise you as chav scum by the leisure wear, there's no need to inflict this shit on us too.

4. People who drive 4x4's and think Surrey is rural. No matter what you tell yourself, you've not bought this car because it's safe, it drives well or because you need it to get through the puddle at the end of your drive. You've bought it to show off how much money you have because that's all you've got to say you dinner party loving, house price discussing, middle managing bores. Just fuck off back to whichever \"village\" you live in, make sure all the bookshops and local producers are closed down and replaced by garages and farmers markets, and get on with driving out the local people so you can hang around with others of your odious self serving, valueless, cultureless, parasitic ilk.

5. People who tell you how much they read and that they love a good book but when it comes down to it, their bookshelf is basically Dan Brown, Harry Potter and chick lit, whilst the only comment they can make is, yeah that one was \"good\" or \"I liked that one\".

6. Men/boys who have \"hairstyles\" of the Russell Brand/dyed hair type, wear drainpipes (no they're not \"skinny jeans\") and winklepickers etc. In my day, you'd have got a good kicking for dressing like that and would have been thankful at the end of it that somebody had taken the time to get you back on the rails. It's only a matter of time before we see Cosmopolitan for Men.

7. The general public. I don't think this needs further explanation.

Dale White

Postby Dale White » Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:00 pm

B@stard wrote:Cunts who moan about my dog shitting in the street or in their gardens.
:lol:

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Postby eric olthwaite » Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:27 pm

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Sniffers Hankie
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:13 pm
Location: Portland Dorset
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Postby Sniffers Hankie » Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:31 pm

[quote="eric olthwaite"][quote="Adrian Knup"]
1. Fuckers who ride their bikes on the pavement. It's illegal. And if you're not a good enough cyclist to ride on the road, where the traffic follows some rules and the only person you're likely to hurt is yourself, what the fuck makes you think you're a good enough cyclist to ride on the pavement where people move randomly and you're likely to encounter old people, small children and really pissed off pedestrians who are frankly more likely to batter you to death with your bike pump than let you pass because you rang your little bell.[/quote]

Ride on the road m'self but the simple facts are:

- About 250 cyclists a year are killed in collision with motorists.
- In 80-85% of cases the police - not cycling groups - record it as the motorists fault.
- I think 2 or 3 people have been killed in the last five years in collisions between cyclists and pedestrians.

So, in terms of just playing the percentages, I have a degree of sympathy for people who are not that confident on the road and would like to avoid getting dead. If motorists (and I'm one, obviously) could be relied on not to drive with their heads rammed up their own arseholes the world would be a different place.

Cyclists who jump red lights mind and give all cyclists a bad rep - that's different. Sooner they're all dead the better.


[quote="Adrian Knup"]
7. The general public. I don't think this needs further explanation.[/quote]


Amen brother. With you all the way on that one.[/quote]

Simple answer here then BAN ALL FUCKING CYCLIST'S from our roads until they pay road tax and get fucking insurance. Then they can all fuck off to somewhere like the Isle of Wight where they can ride round in circles finally dissappearing up their own arseholes
THE BRITISH ARMY THEY are THE BEST

Support British Soldiers in the Field

IF YOU WONT GET BEHIND OUR TROOPS THEN FUCKING STAND IN FRONT OF THEM

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OWETB
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Eating pig with the Prophet Mohammed

Postby OWETB » Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:43 pm

Cyclists are fucking cunts, whether they be on the road or the pavement. The twats should be made to have some sort of insurance if they are on the road as they cause loads of fucking accidents.

I was sat in traffic in London the other week when one of they fuckers pulled up along side me and leaned on my car, cheeky fucking shit head. I wound my window down and told him to fuck off, he then proceeded to tell me it was my fucking fault as there was no room for him to squeeze between my car and the one next to me. Then unbelievably the cunt grabbed my mirror and clicked it back and did the same to the other car and rode off shouting and screaming and giving me the vickers. I had to get out and click the fucking mirror back into place. If I could have grabbed the fucker I would have battered the living shit out of him.

I'm gonna add spotty little sales assistants to this list.

I was in comet a while ago as I was looking for a hand held vac. I was undecided which one to get. I had narrowed it down to a Black & Decker dust buster or a Hoover Power Master. Not sure what the power ratings meant, I summoned a spotty little urchin and asked for their expert advise. The little cunts training kicked in and he started explaining the various attributes each machine had. There seemed to be very little difference in performance so I decided upon the £5 cheaper Hoover. To which the fucker said, you will be better paying the extra £5 and getting the B&D as hoover are not known for making vacume cleaners :shock:

Jovo Simanic
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:40 pm

Postby Jovo Simanic » Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:18 pm

eric olthwaite wrote:
Ride on the road m'self but the simple facts are:

- About 250 cyclists a year are killed in collision with motorists.
- In 80-85% of cases the police - not cycling groups - record it as the motorists fault.
- I think 2 or 3 people have been killed in the last five years in collisions between cyclists and pedestrians.

So, in terms of just playing the percentages, I have a degree of sympathy for people who are not that confident on the road and would like to avoid getting dead. If motorists (and I'm one, obviously) could be relied on not to drive with their heads rammed up their own arseholes the world would be a different place.

Cyclists who jump red lights mind and give all cyclists a bad rep - that's different. Sooner they're all dead the better.


I don't accept that - of course more cyclists die on the road than on the pavement - that's where the majority of them ride. The stats are pretty similar for motorbikes, but I'm sure you're not arguing that we should allow them on the pavement!

Anyway, I'm not saying that riding on the pavement is always bad - I live in London and can totally understand why families wouldn't want their kids on the road for example. And I don't really have a problem with responsible cyclists who ride slowly and carefully. But I live near the Thames path and locally the path (which for the majority is cyclable) becomes a pavement and next to it is a cycle lane. Every day I get into a row with some twat cyclist who comes flying along without regard for us pedestrians because they're scared of going on the road even though there's a perfectly safe alternative for them.

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eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Postby eric olthwaite » Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:29 pm

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