Grumpy Old Man Thread

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
User avatar
MightyWhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:38 am
Location: Notts

Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby MightyWhite » Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:11 am

Another on work colleagues. We’re taking on a raft of new starters at the minute, and as a result of this a new manager role has been created. I’m in for it, as are a few of my colleagues who have been waiting patiently for the chance to arise.

Anyway, one of those new starters is a proper busy fucker. You know the type, he’s been there a couple of weeks and he’s making a bee line for the higher managers to introduce himself, taking every opportunity to ask a question or make an observation in the area meeting, whilst the rest of the new starters sit quietly at the back keeping their head down.

And, of course, he’s applied for the managers job, and I bet he fucking gets it. I know he’s doing the right thing, and you shouldn’t pass up on progression opportunities because you’re new (who knows when another will come up) but the perception of entitlement I get just makes my balls itch. I’ve decided I’ve taken against him for life now. [emoji2]

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Oct 13, 2017 7:53 am

I sooo love working on me own at home. Suits a grumpy old cunt like me down to the ground. I'll be having a departmental meeting upstairs in the bathroom in a bit, 'Parking The Breakfast' being number one [or perhaps more accurately number two!] on the agenda. Cecile McLorin Salvant was very good at Ronnie's last night, by the way. Must minute that.

User avatar
topbin
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby topbin » Fri Oct 13, 2017 3:42 pm

dirty leeds wrote:I sooo love working on me own at home. Suits a grumpy old cunt like me down to the ground. I'll be having a departmental meeting upstairs in the bathroom in a bit, 'Parking The Breakfast' being number one [or perhaps more accurately number two!] on the agenda. Cecile McLorin Salvant was very good at Ronnie's last night, by the way. Must minute that.


I've spent the day in one of our other offices (to work around a bit of an extended holiday - very "flexible working") and in a hotdesking area. For the entire day til about 3pm I've been sat on my own, getting 300% more done than I would have done in the office with cunts bothering me all the time. Then come 3pm some absolute cunts of salespeople have wandered in, brash little fuckers, doing calls, talking all cockney, bringing in beers, really disturbing my vibe.

Fuck "other people".

User avatar
jackos
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:49 am
Location: Stockholm

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby jackos » Sat Oct 14, 2017 5:54 am

Jeppers. You lot really are s bunch of grumpy cunts aren't you? I'm not up for social events at work, mainly because I prefer to spend my free time with my family. I work in a sales office for a large IT company, lot of sales folks who I have next to nowt in common with, apart from a wish to get the job done and get off home to enjoy life. Still I like most of the people I work with, baring the loud obnoxious self entitled fucks, but even those tend to calm down after a few years when they realise being successful is a lot easier if you're not complete wanker. I suppose being a Union rep helps, I see and hear about all the shit most people have to put up with on a daily basis. Life's to short too go around hating everyone you meet, na. fuck that, meet people with an hello and a smile - life much more fun.

And Eric. Just don't go mate. Go out on the lash Thursday and take the Friday off sick if you want an excuse, but I'd just tell them "Unfortunately I cant go because I HAVE TO help my daughter move". You have a ready made excuse.

User avatar
Still Hates Gordon Watson
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:01 pm

Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby Still Hates Gordon Watson » Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:34 pm

I love going to football but by Christ I hate so many football fans. For the second Saturday in a row (Boreham Wood v Halifax the previous week), I was sat near *that* cunt who gives the officials dogs abuse for the whole game from the moment his team conceded their first free kick of the match.

You know the sort: utterly one-eyes, thick as pigshit, bellicose and just won’t shut the fuck up about the officiating even when nothing of note is happening. When an opposition player tumbles naturally in the course of a 50-50 tussle and he screams out for absolutely no need “HE’S FALLEN OVER REF. IS THAT A PENALTY THEN?!? YER CUNT!” etc.

Cunts.

User avatar
the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby the flying pig » Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:41 pm

Still Hates Gordon Watson wrote:I love going to football but by Christ I hate so many football fans. For the second Saturday in a row (Boreham Wood v Halifax the previous week), I was sat near *that* cunt who gives the officials dogs abuse for the whole game from the moment his team conceded their first free kick of the match.

You know the sort: utterly one-eyes, thick as pigshit, bellicose and just won’t shut the fuck up about the officiating even when nothing of note is happening. When an opposition player tumbles naturally in the course of a 50-50 tussle and he screams out for absolutely no need “HE’S FALLEN OVER REF. IS THAT A PENALTY THEN?!? YER CUNT!” etc.

Cunts.


yeah, there's always a cunt or two who seems to go mostly so he can abuse the ref [who, by the way, i rarely tend to notice].

slightly better than the bloke who does the same towards the opposition's fans tho and, hey, it takes all sorts...

User avatar
Still Hates Gordon Watson
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:01 pm

Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby Still Hates Gordon Watson » Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:49 pm

They’re just so constantly angry for no good reason. I don’t understand how they function in their day-to-day lives really.

User avatar
the flying pig
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:24 am

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby the flying pig » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:26 pm

Still Hates Gordon Watson wrote:They’re just so constantly angry for no good reason. I don’t understand how they function in their day-to-day lives really.


Well, look, the daily mail doesn't maintain a seven figure circulation by coincidence... There's a very long standing, established market for that mindset.

User avatar
Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby Devi » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:49 pm

How to ruin a perfectly good Sunday: Take a step son off to football, to watch him and his team play utter gash, yet win 13-0.

Whats the point?

Harrumph.
I like it. What is it?

User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby eric olthwaite » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:50 am

Well, I went. I tried to spend as much time as I could on my own, without being blatantly obnoxious. Bailed out of the 'we're all going to a godawful Europop nightclub' sessions.

Expenditure aside, it was an interesting enough city to visit. Still feel I coped, rather than enjoyed it.

User avatar
FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
Location: Hanging Out The Back Of Winona Ryder

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby FER » Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:01 pm

Just been evacuated from a supplier's offices because of smoke coming out of a light fitting in the ladies bogs. In the pouring rain. Had to wait for the fire brigade to rock up and isolate the bloody thing off. About 200 people all stood about until the supplier told us we could go to the nearby hotel (my group chose not to). I only realised I had a brolly in the car when I was rather fucking soaked!
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

User avatar
FER
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 am
Location: Hanging Out The Back Of Winona Ryder

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby FER » Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:12 pm

Now I'm having to drink fucking decaf tea because they've run out of the proper stuff. Holy fucking Hell!!
Squareball Prediction League Champion 2004/2005

User avatar
Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby Blackwhite » Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:49 pm

FER wrote:Now I'm having to drink fucking decaf tea because they've run out of the proper stuff. Holy fucking Hell!!

Kill them.


Kill them all.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

User avatar
AndyPaul
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Middlesbrough

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby AndyPaul » Thu Oct 19, 2017 6:56 pm

FER wrote:Now I'm having to drink fucking decaf tea because they've run out of the proper stuff. Holy fucking Hell!!


It’s a bit like being told a pub only has Carling left.

User avatar
Devi
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Crystal Palarse

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby Devi » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:11 pm

Jesus wept.

This is actually getting air time.

Yo, Big Shaq, the one and only
Man's not hot, never hot
Skrrat, skidi-kat-kat
Boom

Two plus two is four, minus one that's three, quick maths
Everyday man's on the block, smoke trees
See your girl in the park, that girl is a uckers
When the ting went quack-quack-quack, you man were ducking (you man ducked)
Hold tight, Asnee (my brudda), he's got the pumpy (big ting)
Hold tight, my man (my guy), he's got the frisbee
I trap, trap, trap on the phone, movin' that cornflakes
Rice Krispies, hold tight my girl Whitney (my G)
On the road doin' ten toes, like my toes (like my toes)
You man thought I froze, I see a peng girl, then I pose (chilin')
If she ain't on it, I ghost, hah, look at your nose (check your nose, fam)
You donut, nose long like garden hose

I tell her man's not hot, I tell her man's not hot
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)

Hop out the four-door with the .44, it was one, two, three and four (us man)
Chillin' in the corridor (yo), your dad is forty-four
And he's still callin' man for a draw (look at him), let him know
When I see him, I'm gonna spin his jaw (finished)
Take man's Twix by force (take it), send man shop by force (send him)
Your girl knows I've got the sauce (flexin'), no ketchup (none)
Just sauce (saucy), raw sauce
Ah, yo, boom, ah

The ting goes skrrrahh, pap, pap, ka-ka-ka
Skibiki-pap-pap, and a pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom
Skya, du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun
Poom, poom, you dun know

I tell her man's not hot (man's not), I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot"

Man can never be hot (never hot), perspiration ting (spray dat)
Lynx Effect (come on), you didn't hear me did you? (nah)
Use roll-on (use that), or spray
But either way, A-B-C-D (alphabet ting)

The ting goes skrrrahh, pap, pap, ka-ka-ka
Skibiki-pap-pap, and a pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom
Skya, du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun
Poom, poom, you dun know

Big Shaq, man's not hot
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
40 degrees and man's not hot (come on)
Yo, in the sauna, man's not hot (never hot)
Yeah, skidika-pap-pap


Come back Morrissey... All is forgiven.
I like it. What is it?

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby dirty leeds » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:11 pm

AndyPaul wrote:
FER wrote:Now I'm having to drink fucking decaf tea because they've run out of the proper stuff. Holy fucking Hell!!


It’s a bit like being told a pub only has Carling left.


Jesus, AP, you can go to some dark places. :salute:

Phatphil65
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:46 pm

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby Phatphil65 » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:27 pm

Hell is other people.

User avatar
Blackwhite
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:07 am
Location: Arse end of nowhere

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby Blackwhite » Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:56 pm

AndyPaul wrote:
FER wrote:Now I'm having to drink fucking decaf tea because they've run out of the proper stuff. Holy fucking Hell!!


It’s a bit like being told a pub only has Carling left.

:mrgreen:
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

User avatar
dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby dirty leeds » Fri Oct 20, 2017 8:27 am

Devi wrote:Jesus wept.

This is actually getting air time.

Yo, Big Shaq, the one and only
Man's not hot, never hot
Skrrat, skidi-kat-kat
Boom

Two plus two is four, minus one that's three, quick maths
Everyday man's on the block, smoke trees
See your girl in the park, that girl is a uckers
When the ting went quack-quack-quack, you man were ducking (you man ducked)
Hold tight, Asnee (my brudda), he's got the pumpy (big ting)
Hold tight, my man (my guy), he's got the frisbee
I trap, trap, trap on the phone, movin' that cornflakes
Rice Krispies, hold tight my girl Whitney (my G)
On the road doin' ten toes, like my toes (like my toes)
You man thought I froze, I see a peng girl, then I pose (chilin')
If she ain't on it, I ghost, hah, look at your nose (check your nose, fam)
You donut, nose long like garden hose

I tell her man's not hot, I tell her man's not hot
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)

Hop out the four-door with the .44, it was one, two, three and four (us man)
Chillin' in the corridor (yo), your dad is forty-four
And he's still callin' man for a draw (look at him), let him know
When I see him, I'm gonna spin his jaw (finished)
Take man's Twix by force (take it), send man shop by force (send him)
Your girl knows I've got the sauce (flexin'), no ketchup (none)
Just sauce (saucy), raw sauce
Ah, yo, boom, ah

The ting goes skrrrahh, pap, pap, ka-ka-ka
Skibiki-pap-pap, and a pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom
Skya, du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun
Poom, poom, you dun know

I tell her man's not hot (man's not), I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot"

Man can never be hot (never hot), perspiration ting (spray dat)
Lynx Effect (come on), you didn't hear me did you? (nah)
Use roll-on (use that), or spray
But either way, A-B-C-D (alphabet ting)

The ting goes skrrrahh, pap, pap, ka-ka-ka
Skibiki-pap-pap, and a pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom
Skya, du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun
Poom, poom, you dun know

Big Shaq, man's not hot
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
40 degrees and man's not hot (come on)
Yo, in the sauna, man's not hot (never hot)
Yeah, skidika-pap-pap


Come back Morrissey... All is forgiven.


To be fair, it is meant to be a joke.

User avatar
eric olthwaite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:14 pm
Location: Over there, behind that bush

Re: Grumpy Old Man Thread

Postby eric olthwaite » Fri Oct 20, 2017 9:00 am

dirty leeds wrote:
Devi wrote:Jesus wept.

This is actually getting air time.


To be fair, it is meant to be a joke.


Aye. To be filed under the same heading as Joe Dolce, The Barron Knights, The Wurzels etc.


Return to “The Square Ball”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 9 guests