O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Discussion on LUFC and absolutely anything... welcome to the Dark Side
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Blackwhite
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Blackwhite » Sat Apr 04, 2020 8:54 am

There's a campaign to have the public clap on their doorsteps to show support for delivery drivers, couriers and the mail. It's tomorrow between 7am and 6pm.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Matt White
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2019 10:34 pm
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Matt White » Sat Apr 04, 2020 9:58 am

Blackwhite wrote:There's a campaign to have the public clap on their doorsteps to show support for delivery drivers, couriers and the mail. It's tomorrow between 7am and 6pm.


Nice. Duly shared

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welshwhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby welshwhite » Fri Apr 10, 2020 1:18 pm

Bono and The Edge walk into a pub, and the barman says, oh, not U2 again.

My grandad was from Leeds
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:58 pm

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby My grandad was from Leeds » Fri Apr 10, 2020 1:53 pm

I see the Devon & Cornwall music festival has been cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first The Jam or Cream.

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Devi
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Devi » Fri Apr 10, 2020 6:05 pm

Rolf Harris, Jimmy Saville and Gary Glitter walk in to an Irish Bar. Barman says "Not yew tree again!"
I like it. What is it?

London_White
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:17 pm
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby London_White » Sun Apr 12, 2020 7:04 am

So I was a bit bored and the wife suggested I made a bird table.
Now she's pissed off because I only put her in fifth place

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Blackwhite
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Blackwhite » Thu Apr 30, 2020 11:20 am

I know there is lot of love for Guido and Toby Young on these pages, so enjoy

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Blackwhite
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Blackwhite » Mon May 11, 2020 4:32 pm

Director of GCHQ walks into a bar.

"I heard a great joke today" says the bartender.

"I heard it" says the Director.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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metalsmurf
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:08 am
Location: Littleborough, Gtr Scumland

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby metalsmurf » Mon May 11, 2020 5:09 pm

Blackwhite wrote:Director of GCHQ walks into a bar.

"I heard a great joke today" says the bartender.

"I heard it" says the Director.

"So did I" says Chad Wolf.
Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish.

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Blackwhite
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Blackwhite » Mon May 11, 2020 5:13 pm

He probably heard it first ...
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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dirty leeds
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:13 pm
Location: London

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby dirty leeds » Sun May 24, 2020 10:18 am

Just told my suitcases we aren’t going on holiday this year.
Now I have to deal with the emotional baggage.

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Ontolly
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 pm
Location: Shrewsbury

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Ontolly » Sun May 31, 2020 6:51 pm

Just had a letter through the door saying if you are an alcoholic ring this number. So i did, it was the local fucking off license.
The only thing we knew for sure about Henry Porter was that his name wasn't Henry Porter.

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Ontolly
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:36 pm
Location: Shrewsbury

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Ontolly » Thu Jun 04, 2020 7:44 am

Back in the 1960s Liverpool FC produced their own after shave. They tried to get Yul Bryner to advertise it but unfortunately for them Yule never wore cologne.
The only thing we knew for sure about Henry Porter was that his name wasn't Henry Porter.

Andymac-47
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:06 pm
Location: Belfast

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Andymac-47 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:06 am

Ontolly wrote:Back in the 1960s Liverpool FC produced their own after shave. They tried to get Yul Bryner to advertise it but unfortunately for them Yule never wore cologne.

You are a wanker, but that is really good.
Andymac

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welshwhite
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:15 pm

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby welshwhite » Tue Jun 09, 2020 6:58 am

I've just heard my window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my house...

I think he's lost his rag!

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Blackwhite
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Blackwhite » Fri Jun 12, 2020 3:56 pm

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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metalsmurf
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:08 am
Location: Littleborough, Gtr Scumland

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby metalsmurf » Fri Jun 12, 2020 4:16 pm

Blackwhite wrote:https://twitter.com/TOther_Simon/status/1269866188470980613?s=19

:mrgreen:
Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish.

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metalsmurf
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Location: Littleborough, Gtr Scumland

Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby metalsmurf » Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:33 am

Premature ejaculator seeks attractive female for meet up. Must have nice tits, hot lips a tight arse and,.....awww for fucks sake never mind.
Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish.

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Blackwhite
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Blackwhite » Mon Jul 06, 2020 8:36 pm

:lol:
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

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Blackwhite
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Re: O/T Jokes-sick or not, not fussed.

Postby Blackwhite » Sat Jul 11, 2020 12:17 pm

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.


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